Pickleball is the new “high school”

We’ve all spent our pre-teen and teen years just trying to get through junior high and high school. You tried desperately to find your group, your niche. No one wanted to be a loaner. We just wanted to fit in. We needed that group to sit with at lunch, to hang out with after school and on weekends. As tough as it was, we mostly got through it all. High school: done! Well, not so fast. High school revisited; “Pickleball”.

After forty-two years I decided to leave my company and try to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. After working from home for over four years, I wanted to get out, get some exercise, have some fun and maybe, just maybe, make a few new friends.

Why not give pickleball a try? I joined an over-fifties fitness center near my home. Strangely, I haven’t seen anyone under sixty-five there. And most are pushing eighty. But I digress.

I’ve found pickleball to be a lot of fun. It’s not as strenuous as tennis, but you get a decent work out. I even have my own paddle now!

I’ve been doing it now for about four months. And what I’ve found is that it’s more like high school for older folks. I’ve been good-natured about “advice” I’m given by others. I even took a couple of classes from a guy that looks about my age, but eight months pregnant. During the classes he was more interested flirting with the women than teaching me. It seemed I was more of a hindrance.

There are so many personalities. You have the tall, athletic guy that was probably the high school quarterback. He won’t play with you unless you have a proven track record. He’ll also regale you with the many trophies he’s won. I got on the court with him one time, and he actually said he wouldn’t play with me because I wasn’t very good yet. Yeah. Thanks for the humiliation!

Then you have the guy I call “Mr. Goggles”. He wears protective eyewear while he plays. I mean, c’mon fella, it’s a wiffle ball! He also belongs to the “you have to have experience to play with me crowd!”

Next you have “Mr. High Pants!” He’s about seventy-five and wears his stretch corduroys about six inches above his actual waist. He never tells you the score, but he’ll point it out to you if you ever forget to give it!

There are many more, but the last one I’ll call “the head cheerleader”. Not only will she not play with a newbie, but she also won’t even talk to one! She will, however, make condescending remarks about your play.

Aside from these characters, you have “the foursomes”. They play together and only together. Don’t try to be an interloper and get in on one of their games! Heavens, no!

I can’t say that everyone there has been like this. I’ve at least had a couple of people be cordial and help me. The front desk people have been patient with me to help me learn how to operate the small lockers. Why can’t I grasp it?!

But I am sad that somewhere that I thought would be more welcoming isn’t. I was hoping that all that high school crap was behind me. It was tough enough for me to perpetually be the “new kid” because we moved around so much.

Lately, my approach is to go in, put my paddle in a “waiting” bucket, play three or four games and leave. I’m not a great player, but I enjoy it and I’m paying for the privilege.

So, if you’re reading this and you’re one of the “cool kids” who doesn’t particularly like newbies, at least try to be more friendly. And take off your high school ring.