Slaying the Leviathan and Leaving the Depths of Hades IV

Exercises in conversational dialogue

“That last unit of time was doozy.”

“Boy howdy.”

“Wanna go into town later and chase skirts?”

“Fucking hilarious.”

“We could.”

“For just a moment, with suspension of disbelief, giving no quarter to how damaging such might be to us, ignoring all that, what if you catch one? Then what?”

“You want the dirty details, eh? You sick fuck.”

“No. Please, no. I see your suspension of disbelief is well intact. I’ll ask this, then. Which one will you pursue, as there appears to be two flavors: figure like a bag of Doritos or face like 40 miles of bad road.”

“Body shaming might be frowned on.”

“Spare me the fake indignance. Most of these folks are nowhere near as ugly as they make themselves out to be.”

“Which one would you pick?”

“I suppose a chubby girl in a t-shirt two sizes two small might be…” I’ve been tricked. Again. “Wait a minute, I’m not playing this game! Remember the overheard rule? There’s nowhere good this can go.”

“You’re probably right. There’s gotta be some bad ideas we can do, no?”

“The cool test.”

“What’s the cool test?”

“Tom Wolfe talked about it, er…mighta been in the Electric Kool-aid Acid Test now that I think on it.”

“Yeah, I’m intrigued. Go on.”

“Ken Kesey gets all fed up with interlopers and play-actor hippy hangers-on that turn up wanting to vibe off their, um, shall I say free wheelin’ ways? Regular ol’ lame suburban taxpayers and corporate ladder climbers that think they’re hip because they smoke a little dope and listen to some Coltrane on the weekends.”

“Dude, those folks are fun, plus they bring the good booze and can pick up the tab.”

“I know. Ken Kesey was an asshole. Anyhow, the cool test he says is when Kenny shouts, ‘let's all get naked and ride our bikes down to the lake and go skinny dipping!’ and the squares, er, weekend wannabees, bugger off ’cause they’re not cool. Just wannabe.”

“Do the bikes have the seats removed?”

“And you call me the sick fuck!?!”

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