“Afraid People Will Say I Am Full of Myself?” How I Build the Courage to Hit the ‘Publish’ Button

When I first posted, nobody cared.

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I have a big secret.

In my laptop, there is a special folder. The folder name is “Fermented Drafts.” Inside it, there is not just one or two files. There are dozens of articles and stories that are fully written. Some I wrote last year. Some I wrote last week.

Everything is stored neatly. None of them have ever seen the outside world.

Why do I keep them?

Because I am afraid.

Every time I move my mouse to the “Publish” or “Post” button, my heart beats fast like I just ran a sprint. My hands get cold. Evil voices start whispering in my head.

“Who wants to read your writing?”

“You are not that smart. People will laugh later.”

“If your office colleagues see this, they will say you are trying too hard.”

“People will say you are full of yourself.”

That last phrase hurts the most. It makes me lose self-confidence immediately. Finally, I click close. I shut the laptop. The writing remains a secret of the universe.

Are you like this too? You have written something good. You have an interesting story about your life experience. However, because you are afraid of other people’s opinions, you choose to stay silent.

Today, I want to tell you how I fight that feeling. I do not want to teach you to be immune. I just want to share how to overcome fear that haunts ordinary writers like us.

The Real Enemy Is Imposter Syndrome

I used to think I was just shy. Turns out this is called Imposter Syndrome. I feel like a fraud.

I feel I am not qualified to write because I am not an expert. I feel that because I do not have a literature degree, I cannot tell stories.

But I realized one thing. This feeling is a lie.

If we wait until we become “experts” to write, we will never write until the end of the world. The writers we see as great today also started with average writing. The only difference is one thing. They dared to press the “Publish” button when their writing was still average.

I always have a fear of being criticized. I imagine netizens will leave harsh comments. But the reality is not like that. The reality is sadder.

When I first posted, nobody cared. Nobody criticized. Nobody praised. It was silent.

It turns out my fear was just playing with my feelings. Other people are busy with their own lives. They do not have time to dissect my writing.

Write For Only “One” Person

One technique that really helps me is changing the target reader.

When I imagine “the whole world” will read my writing, I panic. I start writing stiff sentences because I want to look smart. The writing becomes rigid.

So I changed my strategy.

Now, when I write, I imagine I am writing a letter to a best friend. Or to be more precise, I am writing to “my past self.”

I imagine I am telling a story to the 20-year-old version of me. I want to share the experiences I wish I knew back then.

When I focus on this “one” person, the feeling to lose self-confidence disappears. My language style becomes more relaxed. I do not feel like I am teaching people. I feel like I am sharing feelings.

When you write with the intention of sharing with a friend, you will not feel like you are “full of yourself.” You will feel sincere. That sincerity is what will reach the hearts of other readers.

Change Mentality: “So What?”

This is my new mantra.

Every time I have a fear of being criticized or afraid people will talk, I ask myself: “So what?”

If an old friend sees it and laughs, so what? Do they pay my internet bill? No. If someone comments that my writing is boring, so what? Maybe they are not my target reader.

We cannot please everyone. If we want to be writers or storytellers, we have to accept the fact that there will be people who do not like our style. And that is okay.

We do not write for people who dislike us. We write for the few people who might need our story that day.

Maybe your sad story today can give strength to someone who is depressed. If you keep that story in the “Draft” folder, that person will not get that encouragement.

Keeping stories is actually a stingy act. We are stingy with knowledge. We are stingy with experience.

Start In A Small “Pond”

One of the methods I use for how to overcome fear is that I do not jump straight into the deep sea.

When I first wanted to be active again, I did not post on my main Facebook wall. I was shy that my relatives would read it.

I made a Medium account that not many friends knew about. Or I made an anonymous blog. There, I was free to write anything. I trained my “confidence” muscle.

When I saw strangers from other countries clapping or leaving positive comments, my confidence started to grow.

“Hey, someone understands what I wrote.”

“Hey, someone likes my story.”

This small validation is important. It gives us the energy to come out of our shell. Eventually, only then did I dare to share on my personal social media.

You do not need to go viral immediately. Start with a small group. Start with Close Friends on Instagram. The important thing is to get used to pressing the Send button.

Celebrate Imperfection

I always worry about typos or broken sentences. I am afraid of looking stupid.

But when I read back the old writings of my favorite writers, I see they make mistakes too. And I never thought they were stupid. I just thought they were human.

People like reading human writing. Humans are not perfect.

If your writing is too perfect and too organized, it looks like a robot or AI wrote it. Sometimes, those small mistakes are what give your writing a “soul.”

So do not worry too much if your grammar does not get an A+. As long as people understand your message, that is enough. Do not let the feeling to lose self-confidence because of grammar stop you from creating.

Conclusion: Just Press That Button

Now, open your “Drafts” folder again.

Pick one story closest to your heart. Read it once. Fix a little bit here and there. Do not edit for too long.

Take a deep breath. Ignore the voice that says “People will say you are full of yourself.” Remember your intention is to share experiences and not to show off intelligence.

Move the mouse to the “Publish” button. Press it.

After pressing it, close the laptop and go make some coffee. Do not look at notifications for one hour.

Congratulations.

You just won against a writer’s biggest enemy which is yourself. Tomorrow, we do it again. Okay?