AA Steps 4 to 7 and the Spiritual Work of Defect Removal

After several decades working the Program, I still have new insights to old problems.

Annual Inventory Revealed Persistent Patterns

My annual inventory last year revealed persistent, problematic patterns of behaviour. I was still making a series of demands of life:

• achievement
• acclaim
• satisfaction

When I talked with God and another human being about these behaviours, I saw the exact nature of the problem.

I did not love myself, and I demanded these to overcome my lack of self-love.

The unconscious logic was something like this:

• achievement, acclaim, and satisfaction can fill the void of self-love
• therefore, the solution is more achievement, acclaim, and satisfaction

But the argument was flawed. It was not wrong, but it could only go so far.

Why Achievement, Acclaim, and Satisfaction Could Not Heal Self-Love

With the first two demands, achievement and acclaim, I was seeking an external answer to an internal issue, and self-love is an inside job. The third demand, satisfaction, was temporary; however, the need for self-love was permanent.

So none of them would work to fix a lack of self-love.

The clearer logic was this:

• I don’t like or love myself as I am
• but God made me and loves me
• He sees the inner me that He created and desired
• He knows me better than I know myself
• still, I have some defects that He wants removed
• once they are removed, a good character will be revealed, and God will be pleased

Steps 4 Through 7: The Path to Self-Examination and Defect Removal

I needed our Program of self-examination and defect removal, Steps 4 through 7.

Our disciplined and regular approach to self-examination, followed by a synthesis of the exact nature of the problem identified, was connected to Steps 6 and 7, defect removal.

With this new argument, the demands I was making of the world — achievement, acclaim, and satisfaction — were not characteristics I should want; they were defects that I should surrender.