To be the eldest daughter,

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What does it take to be an older sibling? specifically, the eldest daughter?

Some say it’s to help with the house, the tutoring of siblings, the tending to the garden or better yet, be the second mother, the second light to the household. I don’t think that’s how shallow they are, the depths of one’s duties do not lie merely on what is to be seen on the outside, but more on how they handle the more complex, deep-rooted, satchels that bind the eldest female child.

The eldest daughter, disappears until they’re okay so no one has to take care of them .

The eldest daughter, knows not to fail at anything. At all costs. They must always be successful, the best.

The eldest daughter, who struggles in bestowing affection even when they desire to show it.

The eldest daughter, feels guilty for being selfish and being burnt out.

The eldest daughter, who craves being left in her lonesome and having a quiet life.

The eldest daughter, who knows everything yet nothing in her own abode, kept in the dark but forced to uphold remarkable philosophy.

The eldest daughter, who embodies the excruciating word called “understanding”, the one to always give way for everyone else.

The eldest daughter, who unwillingly has to see every single struggle of her parents and pressures herself to get them out the situation.

The eldest daughter, who created the cursed skill to feel things in a more in depth manner.

The eldest daughter, who has to hold to the fort when the parents are falling apart.

The eldest daughter, who no one saves.

The eldest daughter, who raises herself.

The eldest daughter, who buckles and bends but never breaks.

The role of an eldest daughter is both winning and losing at everything everyday. It is exhausting and tears you apart.

She saves, shields, and assures everyone…but who would do that for her? I guess we’ll never know.

After all, they are fated to be both nurturing and expected exemplars. That alone, is exhausting.