My Breast Cancer Journal: The Chemo Diaries | Cycle One

Celebrating the end of cycle one

Hi everyone,

Welcome to the next chapter of my breast cancer journey — The Chemo Diaries. This instalment documents the rollercoaster that was Cycle One. I hope it sheds light on what chemotherapy can really look like, with all its unexpected twists, emotions, and the realities you don’t often hear about.

Cycle One: Session One

🗓 21st February 2025

The day it all began. My first chemotherapy session — and what a chaotic start to this part of the journey. It was everything you don’t want for your first visit to the chemo day unit.

What was meant to be a half-day visit turned into a marathon 10-hour experience at the hospital. From the moment I arrived, things started to unravel. The day unit nurses had not received my request to use the cold cap, meaning they weren’t prepared for me to use one. To make things worse, the two available cold caps were already in use by women on their chemo journey, which is absolutely fine, and I would never want to take this away from someone already on their journey.

If you haven’t heard of cold capping before, it’s a treatment that can reduce hair loss during chemotherapy. The NHS doesn’t fund them, but incredible charities make them available to patients like me. Knowing this, I had really hoped to give it a try to save one part of my identity, my hair. Not being able to was heartbreaking.

And then came another hiccup: the PICC team didn’t have me on their list. I was supposed to get a PICC line that day, and for a while, it looked like it wouldn’t happen, and I wondered if I would have any chemo treatment. Thankfully, after some back and forth, I did eventually get the line fitted — a small win amidst the chaos, and the specialist was amazing. She made me feel such at ease and talked me through all the pros and cons, and talked me through everything she was doing. I don’t think she will ever know how much ease she put me in and how amazing she was that day. I still see her now and again when I am getting chemo, and we always have a little chat.

The days after chemo were incredibly emotional. The sheer weight of everything hit me — the physical exhaustion and the emotional overwhelm. My first day of chemo was overwhelming, and everything hit me. I was lucky as I didn’t have any side effects post-chemo apart from feeling extremely tired and the tired, restless legs.

I also began to learn about my pre- and post-chemo medications — a crucial part of this whole process that no one really tells you much about until you’re in it. If you know me personally, you know that I can not take pills, I have a fear of taking them and always have to has a dissolvable or liquid version of any type of drugs — yes, at the age of 32, I still need to have these but unfortunately the drugs I now need to take do not come in these forms so the pharmacist gave me a pill cutter which is the best thing ever made.

This first session included all three chemo drugs I talked about in my last blog entry, making it a heavy-hitting introduction to what lay ahead.

Me and my PICC line

Cycle One: Session Two

After a long first session, I was hoping for a smoother second session. However, this second session was yet another example of how different each chemo session can be.

Before my chemo appointment, I had a routine oncologist appointment. I mentioned a pain in my shoulder that had started a few days before — yes, I should have rang triage, but I just waited for my appointment, something I later regretted and some swelling in my chest, which raised a red flag. She checked me over and then sent me for an urgent ultrasound scan of my shoulder and chest. The results revealed that I had a blood clot near my PICC line, something that is a side effect of a PICC line, but something I never actually thought would happen.

This changed the course of the day. Following the scan, I was sent to the day unit where I needed to wait for my oncologist to come and discuss my treatment plan for the day with me and the chemo nurses. I was immediately put on blood thinners, which I’ll now be on for the rest of my treatment. I started my blood thinners on 18,000 units for the first 30 days before being reduced to 15,000 units for the remainder of my treatment. One thing people don’t tell you about blood thinners is that you will bruise ALOT, my stomach and legs are so bruised from these.

Because of the blood clot, the nurses couldn’t use my PICC line for this session, so chemo had to be given through a cannula instead. This week’s session only involved one drug — Paclitaxel — but things didn’t go smoothly as we had hoped.

Getting chemo through a canular is not a great experience

Even though I had paxlitcel the week before and didn’t have any problems however this week, not even five minutes into the infusion, I had a severe reaction to the drug. I was sitting in bed thinking, gosh, this migraine is coming on quickly. The next minute, my temples were pulsing, it felt like my head was about to explode, my face and chest were very red, and I felt extremely hot; a feeling I have never experienced in my life. It was an indescribable, terrifying feeling. I said to my mum that something didn’t feel right, and she needed to get the nurse. Thankfully, the nurses acted quickly and took control of the situation with such professionalism and care.

My chemo drug is ready to go

Just 24 hours after my chemo session, I was back at the hospital, this time visiting triage. My PICC line was bleeding, likely due to the strong blood thinners I’d started. The doctor cleaned and redressed the site and reassured me that everything was okay. But emotionally, it was a tough week.

Cycle One: Session Three

The final session of Cycle One.

This one started early — an 8 a.m. appointment — and thankfully, it went smoothly. I only had one chemo drug again (Paclitaxel), and this time, I was able to use my PICC line.

Because of my reaction, chemo now has to be administered slowly and in stages. What was once a one-hour session has turned into a 3–4 hour process to ensure my body tolerates it better. So far, this has been working, and my body tolerates the drug so much better

But I’ll take a smooth session over a rushed one any day. After the bumps in the road that were Sessions One and Two, I was grateful for a quieter day and to close out my first cycle feeling more in control.

Feeling happier at the end of session 3 and cycle one

Reflections on Cycle One

Cycle One taught me that no two chemo days are the same. It taught me to expect the unexpected, to ask the questions, to listen to my body, always get things checked out and to advocate for myself. It also reminded me that even when things go wrong — when systems fail, when plans unravel — there are people who care, who act fast, and who help put the pieces back together.

After a traumatic cycle one, I hoped that cycle two would be better and nothing else would go wrong.

Thank you for reading and for walking beside me on this journey.

Love

Devon