Thinking about a PhD? Don’t. Here’s why…

Run, run, run, as fast as you can!

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Don’t.

Don’t do it.

This is such a common mistake that smart people make because it seems like it is so doable, but let me tell you something. Those same people seem to suffer from stockholm syndrome. Especially those who go one step further and do an MD/PhD, but that’s story for a different day.

Before I sound all doom and gloom, let me explain. Everyone’s experience will be different. But that’s why I think it’s important that everyone share their personal experience as much as possible so potential students get all the facts. It’s not all sunshine and rainbows, but it’s also not all trudging through trenches.

But let me tell you what I learned during my time in a PhD program, 6 years and counting:

1. Academia discriminates against those who are not perfect. — If you have a disability you are in for a long ride. A PhD program will not slow down for anyone regardless of what is happening to you. I needed to take a year off for my health (I was diagnosed for a chronic illness and needed time to figure out my treatment regimen). They kept emphasizing that time off still counted toward my allotted time in the program, 7 years. I didn’t realize just how tight that would be to learn everything I needed, because I was still understanding how much slower I would move given my new sickness. Talk about rough.
2. The department will only help their favorite students. You will find out quickly if you are one of them. — Despite them telling me that I would not get any exceptions for my time constraint, I have seen students remain in the program that needed more time. Only difference I could tell was that those individuals did extracurricular activities outside of lab. For me personally, I did so many extracurricular activities for my bachelors and masters that I just wanted to focus on my research. I did not think that this would play a factor into how I would be treated.
3. Yes, you can choose the wrong lab and suffer consequences. — You can always tell what labs are the most popular in your department. Choose them. Your outcomes will be easier and more desireable than if you choose a niche lab. I know that seems unfair, but let me explain. In my program, the school loved to show all possible labs that each department had to offer. But that is only to show off the schools funding. They don’t actually want you to choose labs that aren’t popular. If you do choose a lab that’s small and not as popular with students, you will find that your opportunities are greatly diminished. Your time will be way harder than those who chose bigger labs.
4. Why the same students always win the presentation awards. (Hint: it’s not merit based) — Remember how I said that those in bigger labs will have an easier time? Well, those students will also win every award possible. I’m not kidding. Wonder how? Well these awards are not merit based, they are based on the PIs connections. Let me be clear, these students work hard and deserve to be awarded. But if you are in a lab of a PI that is more involved with the department, your chances of getting consisdered for awards are way higher than if you join a lab with a PI that tends to keep to themselves. So yeah, join a big lab.
5. The school’s reputation comes first, not your success. — You will have more wiggle room than other students if you bring the school more money and publications than those students who don’t. This is true even before you get accepted. Every report I have to submit must include a section about my plans to win awards and submit grants. After all, only winners earn favor.

I think the saddest part is that this feeling of inadequacy has only gotten worse with the budget cuts. PIs are stressed either trying to keep their grants or looking for more funding for their labs (acceptance now is at 4% from the NIH). So some of them start letting that stress escape into their labs and the personnel feel the burn. Now, just imagine what that means for students who are trying to get funding for themselves. The imposter syndrome is sky high right now, and the environment is not helping at all.

But maybe I’m wrong — does/did your experience look different? Tell me in the comments, I’d love to read them.