I never imagined leaving Instagram would let me breathe my life again.

Photo by Niklas Ohlrogge (niamoh.de) on Unsplash

A few weeks ago, I quit Instagram. This wasn’t the first time — it’s happened before. I’d leave Instagram, only to return a few months later and fall back into the trap of doom-scrolling. Each time, I felt a nagging discomfort while using the app. I could sense my attention span diminishing, yet the algorithm always won.

Looking back, I’ve always taken periodic breaks from the dopamine-driven content that consumed me. I hated myself for mindlessly scrolling every day. It had become a habit — whether I was traveling or out somewhere, the moment I had free time, my fingers would instinctively tap the Instagram icon (thanks to muscle memory).

Things got worse over time. In the past, I’d pull out my phone and scroll through reels when I was alone. But recently, even when I was with friends, I’d find myself reaching for my phone and scrolling. I felt ashamed and guilty because I’m someone who grew up surrounded by books and writing — things that shaped me.

This wasn’t the transformation I expected. One day, while standing in line at a biryani shop waiting to order lunch, my muscle memory kicked in, and I started scrolling Instagram. I came across a reel that I found funny and shared it with someone close to me. Unfortunately, she misinterpreted it, leading to a pointless back-and-forth conversation. That moment hit me hard.

After deep introspection, I realized, “I can be better than this.” Right then and there, I uninstalled Instagram.

That was three weeks ago, and now, as I write this, I’m reflecting on how things have changed.

Initially, life without Instagram felt empty, like a void. I wondered, “What do I do with this extra time?” Then, an incident within my circle inspired me to start something new, Grit Society — a project that resonates deeply with who I am. I could see myself in it.

Looking back, I felt a profound sense of loss for not reading books during my college years. As a form of redemption, I became a little obsessed and started reading constantly (which, wasn’t entirely healthy). Now, I carry a book in my bag at all times. Whenever I have a moment, instead of reaching for my phone, I pull out the book and read, even if it’s just a couple of pages. It feels worth it.

I also keep a small notebook and pen with me. Whenever I need to process my thoughts, I write them down. What started as a way to collect ideas for Grit Society, has turned into a self-reflective journal.

I may be drifting from the main point, but here’s the truth: I’ve started to breathe again. I can stand or sit in a crowded place without pulling out my phone. I can comfortably sit with my own thoughts and introspect. I now enjoy my one-hour train ride to the office, using it as a time for reflection. I can work more peacefully.

For now, I have no desire to reinstall Instagram and fall back into that abyss.

Hey, thanks for reading my words — it truly means a lot to me. I’d love for you to join **Grit Society**, a Medium publication where you can share your stories, write about what matters to you, and explore other columns that inspire you.

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