Another Animal-Related Rant

Hey, Assholes! Pets Are Not Your Personal Accessories

Why the Kardashian’s Should Not Be Permitted To Get Any More Animals, Ever

Bert pretends he’s a hat, but his prior owner had him declawed and he’s not quite right in the head as a result. That makes us a perfect pair ;) (Author’s Photo)

When I read that Khloe Kardashian had declawed her cats, I can’t say it surprised me.

For a family of influencers, these fools continually set crappy examples for their followers.

But what really got me was her half-assed apology that included -

“I was misadvised by my veterinarian.”

Excuse me?

She’s made her fortune on the Internet which happens to be filled with articles and videos of the actual procedure explaining how harmful it is for cats.

I’m sure the real conversation went something like -

“This won’t be too bad for them, will it?”

The vet, not wanting to piss off an uber-wealthy client who could destroy his practice with a single post, probably replied —

“Oh no, we’ll be gentle.”

Or some such bullshit.

The fact it’s still legal in most states pisses me off no end. And when I see idiots blaming the vet for their own failure of due diligence, it’s equally enraging.

This isn’t a new thing.

In 2003, the American Animal Hospital Association adopted a position opposing elective declawing and the movement has ramped up over the past two decades.

It’s now banned in six states, as well as in Washington DC and there are also citywide bans in places like Austin, Texas and Denver, Colorado.

That’s a good thing.

But until its addressed at a national level, more cats will suffer needlessly because assholes like Khloe would rather claim ignorance than bother doing their own research.

She said she did it because the cats were fighting and the stress made them start peeing on the bed and other inappropriate places.

Yep, that happens when you introduce them wrong or their environment is out of whack. Can you imagine living with a Kardashian?

I’d be spraying her Louboutin sandals on a regular basis.

Her solution was to hire a pet psychic who told her to get a pink litter pan. Jesus wept.

Cats don’t even see colors like we do and it’s thought they see mostly in green and blue. Detecting the difference between a red, pink or purple pan is probably beyond them.

And do you really think they give a shit? No pun intended, really.

They’re cats. Declawing them is never a solution to behavioral issues. It just creates more.

But we were speaking of shit, so let’s move on to her sister, Kim.

She’s another one I’d like to put on an international “no pets for you!” list.

Pets Aren’t Presents

I find Kim Kardashian revolting for many reasons. The fact she’s decided to put a pause on her legal studies thrills me no end.

With what’s going on in Washington these days, I’m embarrassed enough for my former profession. Adding another bullshit artist to the bar is in no one’s best interests, but I digress, as always.

For Christmas last year, Kim got her kids pure bred Pomeranians. Four of them.

Someone needs to remind her these aren’t hoodies, they’re puppies. There’s absolutely no reason the kids each needed their own.

Maybe teach them to share and develop some compassion caring for one dog as a family. But the article mentioned there were already dogs in the house, and a lizard.

No, these were treated like toys to show off on Instagram and play with until they tired of them.

Great lesson, mom.

And I’m sure she got the best bloodline around, so those likely cost upwards of $5,000 a piece.

The money she spent could have cared for a hundred dogs at our shelter for a month or more. It’s ridiculous to shop rather than adopt.

But I guarantee you sales of Pomeranians skyrocketed after that hit the press. As I already said, it’s revolting.

And I really worry for those dogs.

Puppies produce shit. Lots of it.

When I went into our puppy room the other day to take some to yoga, the kennel door looked like a Jackson Pollock painting done in poo.

Do you really think she’s going to tolerate that in the foyer of her fancy fuckpad? Hardly.

Not that I pay close attention, but I’ve seen no mention of them since. The main thing I’ve seen is the eldest daughter, North, showing off her jeweled teeth and knuckle piercings. Just lovely, and please read that with heavy sarcasm.

These pups are probably consigned to a crate and cared for by staff the majority of the time.

I’d like to find them a better home, but all I can do for now is bitch about it.

The Takeaway

Pets should only be decorative when it’s their choice. My guy Ernie likes to imitate flower arrangements on occasion-

Ernie was also a victim of declawing and he’s a little off as well ;) (Author’s Photo)

And Arthur liked to do his impression of a newel post which I think really improved the look of that staircase -

Bottom line, you should design your decor around your animals, with their needs in mind.

It’s not rocket science but it does take time and commitment. If you’re not willing to do the work, get a stuffed animal instead.

I can’t tell you how many surrenders come in where we have to put “unrealistic expectations” as the reason they’re being rehomed.

Know what you’re getting into and never gift an animal to someone as a surprise. That’s an epically stupid move and it rarely has good results.

Finally, please don’t add to the shelter population by supporting breeders. Right now, there are dozens of great dogs and cats at the shelter where I work waiting for a forever home.

And we’ve got five hundred kittens out in foster. Yeah, it’s going to be a busy kitten season. Once they make weight, we’ll neuter them and put them on the adoption floor.

We get everything from Bengals to Persians to polydactyls. So, with patience, even picky people can find the specific breed they want through a rescue.

While we never euthanize for time or space, the shelter near you may not have that ability. By adopting, you will literally save a life.

Now I’ll let you get back to yours. Make it a good one, pet a critter today if you can, and for more unsolicited animal advice just…

Stay tuned here, there’s always more ;)