“I’ll fuck you ’til you love me” ROSALÍA’s Berghain

Berghain is not just a night club in Berlin. It’s a chaotic space you can’t get into, or rather, can’t escape.

When I first heard the song, I had to give myself a couple of minutes in silence to process it. After seeing the video clip, I had to give myself an hour. After streaming it throughout the day, the whole concept finally started to make sense.

“Berghain” starts when darkness transitions to light with ROSALÍA opening her kitchen curtains. The music kicks in, her day begins, and we see the room filled up with orchestra.

His fear is my fear
His anger is my anger
His love is my love
His blood is my blood

The opening lines talk about the need for foundation, guidance and a sense of belonging in a divine power. Whatever He is in His whole being, I’m a part of. Trying to make sense of suffering so strong and uncontrollable, to not feel lonely, it’s better to think that pain comes from above and, therefore, is shared with someone above. In ROSALÍA’s clip, anxious-sounding strings quite literally follow her everywhere she is. In her home, while she’s ironing her laundry and making her bed, on the street, in the tram, in the doctor’s office.

In the first preview of Berghain, in this exact frame, ROSALÍA wears a T-shirt that states: “My intrusive thoughts sound like this”.

The flame penetrates my brain
Like a lead teddy bear
I keep many things in my heart
That’s why my heart is so heavy

The lead teddy bear is a helpless toy, unable to speak up or run away from the flame burning it alive. As ROSALÍA sings about this cloud of heaviness and agony, she sits in her kitchen holding a tiny golden heart, not knowing what to do with it. Later, a clip shows her trying to sell it in what seems to be a pawnshop. But the heart is so broken that even the seller doesn’t want to buy it.

I know very well what I am
Tenderness for coffee
I’m just a sugar cube
I know that the heat melts me
I know how to disappear
When you come, that’s when I leave

ROSALÍA knows that everything that she’s going through is a constant loop. She loves the “coffee”, its heat, but it makes her “melt”. Hurting is inevitable, but the way she describes it is an addiction. Giving all of herself to pain, dissolving in it until there is nothing left. She tries to run away but keeps coming back to the same spot, as the orchestra never leaves her.

The only way to save us is through divine intervention
The only way I will be saved (Is through) divine intervention

The anxiety has reached such a peak that it has become a helpless state. There is nowhere to go now, only to pray for intervention. As Björk’s vocals step in, ROSALÍA comes back to her flat to see the door opened. She enters as Snow White; the orchestra is not surrounding her anymore. What seems finally to be a quiet, peaceful moment quickly turns dark, as it gets interfered with by Yves Tumor’s lyric line.

I’ll fuck you ‘til you love me

Distorted and aggressive vocals reference Mike Tyson’s interview following his release from prison in March 1995 after serving three years for rape. A reporter in the crowd shouted, “Get him in a straightjacket,” to which Tyson disturbingly responded: “Put your mother in a straightjacket, you punk ass white boy!… I’ll fuck you till you love me faggot”.

The line describes overwhelming anger, coming from a place of weakness, that turns into violent outbursts onto people. It’s like firing bullets without an aim — whoever gets in the way gets shot.

But visuals bring a double meaning to that, as the clip follows with the image of a deer crying with blood.

A deer is a symbol of purity. And a pure creature shedding blood can reference “killing innocence”, the loss and destruction of decency.

“I’ll fuck you till you love me” can symbolize a violent, dominant partner, while a deer represents a victim of that kind of sexually abusive relationship. Or rather (which is more logical to the whole meaning of the song), it comes from the point of view of a vulnerable partner. They’re surrounded by a cloud of overwhelming feelings that come from a place of having to prove your worth through sex, using your body as a tool for getting “love”, the only way that is familiar and, well, quite primal. It’s a power-imbalanced dynamic: I’ll fuck you; I’m in control, but it’s you who has to eventually love me.

‘Til you love me
Love me
Love me
Love me

Yves Tumor’s vocals here get progressively demonic, as the vocal part grows in depth. That repeated phrase made me think of Frank Ocean’s Bad Religion, where his “I could never make Him love me” turns into this fragile, borderline-begging line, “Love me, love me, love me”, that he chants like a prayer.

Generally speaking, it can be ROSALÍA’s inner conflict with being an artist — having to prove herself as a constant innovator to the mass audiences. I’ll give you what you want, and it will be so good that you will love me. And as much as it sounds aggressive, eventually it turns into a plea.

“Berghain” is a chaotic place. Nobody can guarantee that you will get there, and as much as you want, you cannot predict that. But once you enter — you might just not escape.