limerence ; unrequited love

limerence ; unrequited love

i thought i was free of him

i thought it was finally over.

he left and may probably not be back.

this is what i wanted to happen.

i wanted to say goodbye.

goodbye, to the hope of being reunited with him

….

so that i could move on.

its silly to feel this way, i know.

he didn’t feel the same about me,

yet

….

my heart still lingers to see that face

even though i was nothing in his life.

is this really just limerence and nothing more?

were all those little moments just my brain overthinking? how torturous if so.

he’ll never know to the extent of my feelings. he will never know how heavenly he appeared to me.

my heart cries out for him to come back.

my heart cries out for him to come find me.

if thats even fair to wish for.

i can’t help but feel that maybe he feels the same

….

that maybe there is still hope.

yet i have no proof of this,

only that he has not left my mind since the first day i saw him.

he stops by in my dreams from time to time,

to whisper sweet nothings.

im still haunted by him.

the last day i saw him was like watching a ghost when i think back to it.

he was walking away, fading into the night.

i swear he looked back at me one last time too.

i wonder if we both haunt each other since that night.

wishful thinking, i tell myself.

still

….

i keep him in my head, a concept of who he could’ve been.

it’s best he stays as a concept, till he drifts away to time.

i ask myself if it’s okay for me to keep him there.

i want to let go

truly i do.

however, i can’t help but still have an ounce of hope.

is hope okay to have?

am i obsessed?

surely i must be insane.

i dont want to be obsessed

i want to be wrong

i want to be so very wrong.

i want him to yearn for me too

i dont wanna be alone in this feeling.

just wanna know i’ll see him again.

i want him to come looking for me.

i want him to tell me he’s sorry.

am i crazy?

am i obsessed?

unfortunately i think i might be

surely that must be the reason for these intense feelings.

how i wish to be rid of them.

how i wish to have my heart set free.