Ten Things to Watch Out for Being Newly Sober

And every day afterward.

Photo by Mark Duffel on Unsplash

I have been sober a few 24s. My sobriety date is August 30, 1991. I’m not bragging about this. It was a gift that I renew each day.

I want to show you that I am qualified to write this article.

I did go the AA route when I got sober and then for the next twenty years. I sponsored dozens of people during those years. I shared my experience, strength, and hope with them.

Hopefully, some of these suggestions will help you stay sober.

1. If you don’t put your sobriety first, you are destined to fail.

This is serious stuff. Life and death stuff. You got sober because you knew you had a problem. Don’t screw it up. How many opportunities will come again to stay sober?

Don’t attend a gathering where you know there will be lots of booze. You probably think this is a no-brainer, but it is not.

If you have to make up a lame excuse not to attend a wedding, graduation, or other engagement, do it. Or tell them the truth. Your life depends on it. You are too new to sobriety to attend these occasions.

Get some TIME (Things I Must Endure) under your belt before you attend these types of festivities or even a casual night out with your friends.

Say goodbye to your drinking pals you know you shouldn’t hang around with anymore. I had to let go of a drinking friend because hanging out with her would bring me back to a drink.

Never sit at a bar. Blind men don’t go to movies, and alcoholics don’t go to bars. EVER.

Don’t put your job, relationships, or anything else before sobriety. Alcoholism is doing pushups, just waiting for you to falter.

2. Don’t get overconfident or cocky.

I used to love the people at meetings who would say they would never drink again. Wow, did they have a crystal ball I should be aware of?

Sobriety doesn’t work like that.

To be vigilant about staying sober is a daily reprieve — a day at a time. Sometimes, it can be a minute at a time.

How many times have we all said we would never do something again and have ended up doing it, anyway?

A woman who was very charismatic in AA always gave the impression that she was sober for life. She had tons of women she sponsored.

One day, she decided to drink a bottle of vanilla because she was a little down.

She started to drink again — right where she had left off years before.

She lost a beautiful home and her marriage and now rents a townhouse and can’t stay sober.

3. Drink your beverages in plain glasses, not glasses you used when you drank.

These are called triggers. Are you using that fancy stemware because you say it makes you feel sophisticated? Yeah, right? Pack it away in the attic or donate it to Goodwill.

4. Avoid Drama.

When I was first sober, I was married to an alcoholic who locked me out of the house one night. When I finally entered, I took a baseball bat and slammed it on his legs (and other areas) while he was sleeping (he woke up). I told my sponsor about this victorious feeling I got from it.

She told me I was getting high on the situation, which wasn’t good. Behavior like that might bring me back to a drink.

After that, I kept life as neutral as possible. I moved out, got my place, worked, and attended meetings. It sounds boring, but it was necessary, and I stayed sober. That first year was rough.

5. Avoid boredom

So you have nothing to do? An idle mind is the devil’s workshop. Get a plastic bag and pick up garbage by the side of the road. If it’s raining, wear a raincoat. You will be accomplishing something worthwhile and staying sober.

Watching too much TV, playing too many video games, or being online for too long can also weaken you. You are too comfortable, and your guard is down. Go take a walk, get some fresh air, and free your mind. Oh yes, pick up some garbage while you are out there.

6. Eat Properly.

Newly sober people crave sugar. A lot of it. Sugar was in the booze we drank, so now, we feel we need to replace it with cookies, candies, and ice cream. I know a lot of people who put on tons of weight after getting sober because of this.

My blood sugar was a mess when I first got sober. I would get very lightheaded right before meals. I would always carry a pack of cheese or peanut butter crackers with me to get through this feeling and allow my blood sugar to even out.

Cookies, candies, and ice cream can be consumed in moderation. We gave up drinking, but we should be able to enjoy life with a little sweets.

7. Never ever go on a Twelve Step call by yourself.

Once you are sober, you may be asked to go on one of these calls in AA. These are people who want to get sober. You can share your experience, strength, and hope with them. Possibly, they will get sober because of you.

On these calls, you will be pouring booze down the drain and taking anything alcoholic out of their house to throw out in the garbage. You never go alone.

I don’t care how sober you think you are; alcoholism is cunning, baffling, and powerful. Don’t play with fire. Always bring someone with you who is in recovery.

If you are having an Intervention for someone who has a drinking problem, the same rules apply. Don’t be the only person in recovery there. Non-alcoholics don’t understand the danger of you being around alcohol.

8. Get rid of all alcohol in your house, office, vehicle, etc.

So you are keeping a couple of brewskies in your fridge for when someone stops by. Your spouse still drinks, so the booze must still be in your house. WRONG.

If your spouse respects your sobriety, he or she will remove their supply from the household. If they don’t, maybe it’s time to consider whether you want to live with someone who does not have your best interests in mind. I got out of my last marriage because of that.

I never supplied alcohol for anyone once I got sober. After a few years of sobriety, when I wasn’t so squirrelly anymore, I allowed people to bring alcohol over to drink, but they always had to take what was left home with them. This rule still applies.

Also, using non-alcohol mouthwash and non-alcoholic vanilla for baking is a good thing to do fresh out of the gate.

9. Avoid playing romantic songs that could bring you back to a drink.

You kept drinking because he or she broke your heart, and this was your song. Don’t wallow in self-pity.

Lighten up.

Today is a new day.

You will meet someone else.

Sober sex is awesome.

10. Drinking non-alcoholic beers, etc., is a no-no.

You are just asking for trouble. Your new way of life doesn’t involve anything relating to alcohol. Even a non-alcoholic item that is a substitute for alcohol.

I gave up drinking one time and decided to drink non-alcoholic wine. I can do this, I thought. My alcoholic mind took over after a short period of time, and I said I would limit my drinking to one glass of alcoholic wine per day. You know how successful that was.

If you have anything to add, please comment below.

Sobriety is a gift that we are given. If you give it away, there is no guarantee that you will receive it again.

I have seen too many who died trying to get it again.

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