2015

I am writing this because I just can’t stop regret and at the very time I am writing this, in my mind, I am crying but I can’t cry in front of a few people in cafe.

2015 was the year that I got out from military service and Start my sophomore year. It was good. One of my close friend said that I should feel the competition of grades but whatever, school thing was not my business at all. Although I had a chance to get a full scholarship when I got admission from my uni, I haven’t had a single support since I couldn’t get top 50% of the student of our grade.

There are, very few photos left for 2015. 2 of then is 성환’s picture. There are pictures of my old friends. There were 3 of them and only 2 I can start to chat. I can check my grade but…. well I want to check it now because if I see the name of the classes that I took when I was sophomore, I can remember well.

So I checked it again, and I cried. They were beautiful days. My 2nd semester was pretty awful, I got 2 out of 4.5. How can I be so privileged? I was able to waste my time just because my parent was able to make all these things up all by themselves.

How could I have been so not sincere? I was a bad boy. At that time I certainly was not meeting any woman. I think I was into League of Legend. So much. Just like I was into League and Diablo 3 in 2012. I was completely lost and in my mind, I knew I should not be doing this, but video game was it. It was the thing that I wanted so badly since I was in middle school and now I was free. I go to PC room with pin money from my parents. I have been doing this I guess whole 2015.

I remember at the end of 2015, I declared to be a Korean Certified Professional Accountant(CPA). That must be it. This was the reason why my score of 2nd semester is so fucked up. At 2015, I was 23. It was beautiful days. My last photo in my iCloud is having Sashimi with my old friend 성환. I went to his hometown, making promise that I will pass the CPA exam. This was last time before I go to CPA institution with tons of my parent’s money spilled to…. nowhere. (Of course 1 year of my life.)