Reality is a Moving Target with Bipolar Disorder

Getting real about what’s real (or not).

Ever wonder what’s real? | Image made by author with OpenArt.

Reality. The word means nothing to most neurotypical people unless you’re talking about virtual reality games or glasses. But for those of us living with bipolar disorder, reality is a constant thought.

We live in a world where nothing is as it seems. Oftentimes, we can’t trust what we hear, what we see, or even what we think. Realities can change, sometimes in the blink of an eye. In the worst times, the things that seem most real are often the wildest hallucinations.

Even when you’re on the right treatment plan, fear about reality hangs on. Every day, you wonder-or, at least, I wonder-if today is the day when everything changes. Have I been living in an alternate reality? Do I really know what’s happening in my world? Can I trust the people who say they love me?

Reality is a fight. It’s a daily battle to grab on to tiny bits of lucidity in a world that’s often a spiraling chaos.

Wondering About Reality

I’ve been thinking a lot about reality since a reader reached out a few days ago. Most days, I feel like I have a pretty good grasp on reality. I’ve been relatively stable for nearly two decades. There have been no hallucinations or delusions to sidetrack me. But the ones from the past still haunt me.

The man I used to see standing at the end of my bed during the night. The flowers that used to appear and then move along the wall. The voice that would call my name in the middle of the night and wake me up out of a dead sleep.

Those weren’t realities, at least not as most of the world knows them, but they were realities to me. They were part of my world, now part of my history. They stay with me like every other real memory does, and that’s something you can’t explain to someone who’s never experienced it.

A full grasp of reality is a gift, and I wish that people without bipolar disorder understood that.

Knowing What’s Real is a Gift

It must be nice to wake up in the morning and not wonder what’s true and what’s not. It must be wonderful to not have to doubt every thought you think or wonder if you’re deluding yourself about how well you are doing. How much simpler life must be.

But this is the life we’re living, one with shifting realities. So we have to do our best. Even though it’s hard, we can have a good life. It starts with taking care of ourselves and having people in our lives that we can trust.

Part of holding on to reality is managing our energy levels. That includes getting enough sleep and saying ‘no’ to things when we don’t have energy to spare. Energy is such an important topic that we’re going to focus on it for this week. Part one of the series is below.

If you’re struggling to hold on to reality right now, know that you are not alone. Every one of us with bipolar disorder has either been there or is living there right now. It may not feel like much of a comfort, but sometimes just knowing that someone else understands what you’re going through is enough. I understand, and I know you do too.

Thank you for being part of my reality and reading my ramblings. I hope today treats you well and that your reality is firmly grounded.

Until next time, keep fighting.

Originally published at https://speakingbipolar.com on May 24, 2026.