Not your bag?

We supposedly live in an age of sexual enlightenment. Same sex marriages are a thing, transgender folks grace the covers of magazines, and the rainbow flag flies high and proud. And, as a straight man, I am good with that.

And yet, whilst browsing YouTube the other day, I came across several videos on a single item that suggest there is at least one gender barrier that has yet to be broken. What is this scandalous item, I hear you ask? A nipple ring? A dog collar and leash in S&M-friendly black leather? A ball-gag?

No. It is none of these things. In fact, the item in question is a bag. More specifically, it is an Elements Tote Bag from the Australian brand, Alpaka. Before you ask, the bag in question does not carry the Pride flag. — it comes in black, blue and a rather fetching olive green. It is not made from leather, lycra, latex or anything with fetishistic overtones. It is made of “ripstop nylon” with a recycled polyester inner (whatever that is).

Yet, despite all of this, two of the video hosts I watched felt the need to address what they described as “the elephant in the room”. And that elephant, apparently, is the notion of a man carrying a bag: as if a bearded man might be mistaken for a woman because he has a bag over his shoulder; like his sexuality might be called into question because he chooses to carry his belongings in a purpose-made bag rather than jamming them all in his pockets.

Imagine being so insecure in your manliness that you think it might all come undone if you pair your most macho outfit with a tote bag. Presumably, they feel the same about pink t-shirts.

What strikes me as odd — aside from the whole premise of man carries bag and is, therefore, a woman — is that the main objection appears to be not the bag itself, but how it is carried. A gym or sports bag gripped in a man’s fist? Manly. A laptop bag worn on your back. Butch as Hell. But a bag worn on one shoulder? That is a step too far and the end of civilisation.

So I am making a stand. I am buying an Alpaca Elements Tote Bag. I am buying it in blue (the brightest colour they offer); I will pair it with jeans and I will pair it with a suit; I will carry it with me for business and for pleasure; and I will make a point of wearing it over my shoulder to see if I can widen a few of those narrow minds.