Rememberance

I have attended many Funerals and Memorial Services. The current fashion is to set aside a portion of the service for off-the-cuff “Remembrances” by friends of the deceased. Those “Remembrances” often bring a chuckle to the mourners. “That’s when Bob refused to pay 34 cents for gas and drove past the last exit for 50 miles. We made it to the lake on fumes. Oh, that Bob.”

One “Remembrance” that I’ve never heard is “I’m glad he’s dead”. Until now. Last Saturday, Donnie posted, “Robert Mueller just died. Good. I’m glad he’s dead. He can no longer hurt innocent people.” Please do not invite Trump to the funeral. He would probably do his joyful Y-M-C-A dance when the congregation sings “Abide With Me”.

If I were a Fox News devotee, I might never have been informed of Donnie’s post. “Fair and Balanced” Fox News mentioned Mueller’s death six times on the air but never once quoted Donnie’s reaction or the outrage that it caused. Apparently, the writers at Fox have some semblance of respect for the dead unlike the Commander-in-Chief.

“Remembrances” other than Trumps’ crude one are summarized by “Bob Mueller might have been the last person in the US government that both parties agreed upon and respected beyond reproach.”

Including near universal respect, Mueller and Trump had absolutely nothing in common . Mueller graduated near the top of his class from Princeton in 1966 and played varsity lacrosse. Donnie scraped through Penn and spent a lot of time on the golf course. Mueller could have easily avoided military service (maybe he had a debilitating heel spur?), but went to Marine OCS instead. He earned a bronze star and a Purple Heart in Vietnam. Donnie boasted that his combat experience was avoiding venereal disease in NYC nightclubs. Mueller married in 1966 and would have observed his 60th anniversary this year. Donnie will wed Wife #4 when Melania’s looks run out and if he can find an Eastern European beauty 50 years his junior. Mueller was appointed FBI Chief by G.W. Bush in the wake of 9/11 and served so brilliantly that he was reappointed by Obama. Donnie’s idea of an FBI Chief is a clown who arranged a “business trip” to the Winter Olympics so he can shotgun beer with the US hockey team.

Mueller conducted the investigation into Russian interference during Trump’s first election. It led to prison terms for Trump appointees Manafort and Flynn plus indictments of 13 Russian individuals and three Russian companies. Ever the complete lawyer, he stated that Trump was “neither accused nor exonerated” by his findings. Naturally, Donnie shouted from the rooftops that he was “totally exonerated.” Mueller never contradicted Donnie and now he never will. Maybe that’s why he is “glad he’s dead.”

Donnie’s “Remembrance” will not be the one that goes down in history.

By Ed Dufton