I Failed My New Year’s Resolutions Every Year — Until I Started Treating My Life as an Experiment

Falls Reading By the Sea

Every year, we set New Year’s resolutions. And almost every year, we quietly give up on them — not all at once, but slowly. In the beginning, there’s excitement. Plans, lists, motivation. You feel like this year will be different. Then life happens. By summer, the energy fades. By autumn, the goals feel distant. And by the end of the year, most of them are gone.

I know this pattern well, because I’ve lived it. For years, I was the kind of person who lost momentum halfway through the year. By June, I would already feel it — that quiet gap between who I wanted to be and how I was actually living. It wasn’t a dramatic failure. It was drifting.

What If the Problem Wasn’t Discipline?

One day, I came across a quote that stayed with me: “All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make, the better.” It made me pause. What if the problem wasn’t my discipline? What if I were treating life like a test I had to pass, instead of something I could explore?

So I made a quiet decision. Instead of trying to become “successful,” I would become someone who experiments with life.

The Kind of Life That Doesn’t Look Impressive

That decision didn’t suddenly make me impressive. In fact, it probably looked messy from the outside. I tried many things over the years — ukulele, skateboarding, painting, tennis, etc. I wasn’t particularly good at any of them, and people noticed.

I remember a friend once asking me, “What’s the point of doing all these things if you’re not good at any of them?” I didn’t have an answer at the time, and honestly, it hurt. But I kept going. Because I realized something quietly important — I wasn’t trying to be the best. I was trying to feel alive.

Falls Running Her First Half Marathon

The Moment That Changed Everything

Then something shifted. On Christmas Eve, I completed my first half-marathon. It wasn’t fast, and it wasn’t impressive by any competitive standard. But I felt something I hadn’t felt before. I felt proud.

Not because of the result, but because I stayed with something. Because I showed up. Because I experienced it fully. In that moment, I understood something simple but powerful: life isn’t about becoming impressive — it’s about becoming alive.

I Stopped Setting Goals Like Everyone Else

After that, I stopped making long lists of resolutions. Instead, I focused on just three areas that truly mattered to me. I called them my “Three Trinities”: Books, Miles, and Matters of the Heart.

Books gave me direction and a sense of calm. Miles helped me reconnect with my body through movement. Matters of the Heart became my space for writing, reflecting, and allowing myself to feel deeply. These weren’t goals for productivity. They were anchors for how I wanted to live.

What Actually Helps You Stay Consistent

Over time, I realized that consistency doesn’t come from forcing yourself. It comes from understanding yourself. Some days, you will go off track, and that’s completely normal. You’re not a machine. What matters is trusting that you’ll come back.

Breaking things into smaller steps helps more than pushing yourself too hard. Small actions are sustainable, while pressure often leads to burnout. And sometimes, you need to change direction. Not every goal is meant to last forever. Letting go doesn’t always mean failure — sometimes it means growth.

Most Resolutions Don’t Work Because They Aren’t Yours

There’s no shortage of advice online about what your resolutions should be. Read more. Exercise more. Wake up early. But most of it doesn’t stick, because it’s not personal.

Real change happens when your goals come from your own life, your own curiosity, and your own desires. When something truly matters to you, you don’t have to force it — you naturally return to it.

Final Thoughts

The biggest shift for me wasn’t becoming more disciplined. It was becoming more engaged with my own life. Waking up with something I care about. Moving toward something meaningful. Allowing myself to try, fail, adjust, and try again.

If your past resolutions didn’t work, maybe that’s okay. Maybe they weren’t meant to. Instead of chasing perfect goals, try experimenting with your life.

Follow Falls Shu to experiment with life together! Dare to be your own hero~