Politics / white house correspondents dinner shooting

He Made The ‘Fake’ Media Crawl Under Tables For Him At The WHCD

‘Ready to give me that ballroom yet? ‘ — Trump

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Disclaimer: So the third time is still not a charm, huh?

Look what we have here — another Trump assassination production. Get down, everyone! Get down! Quick! Get into Character! Play along! Look around, do you notice anybody running? No? That’s because this shit is fake. Check out that camera guy on the extreme right of the dias: minute 0:57–0:59. He’s so scared, he’s about to ditch a smaller camera for the bigger one sitting right on top of the table — perfect vantage point to capture the moment.

Did you also know that a federal judge ordered Trump to pause construction on the white House ballroom unless there was a security threat? No? Cute.

Protecting Trump’s ego has been the central theme and mandate of the Trump 2026 White House. For the first time in history, there was a ban on professional comedians at this year’s White House Correspondents’ Dinner, in favor of the world-class mentalist (mind reader) Oz Pearlman, who was on stage performing a signature mind-reading act when the shooting started.

Which brings me to the next big character on the stage that night — the other cabbagehead who also thought her hosting ‘gig’ was real and even a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity; Check out 👇🏽that overperformer to the left of Trump, with her whole mouth wide open, animating ‘fully engaged’! Clearly, no one has seen what she’s looking at and hearing, or they’re completely ignoring her.

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Model minorities do this all the time — use exaggerated facial movements as a visual decoy to hide something as normal as fixing a wardrobe malfunction, during work hours, and … right in front of the president of the United States, sometimes. Someone put her in that position to embarrass her. Must be one of the wives.

…. This was her seconds after the first shots rang out.👇🏽Lol!

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*Translation: It wasn’t me. I didn’t do it. I swear I don’t have a gun.*

Model minorities only get the attention of the apex predator when they’re in trouble; they’re largely ignored otherwise, and that’s what that look is. She knows they don’t trust her because she regularly gets in trouble for breathing. Just look at her, all willing and ready to go sit time out in the corner. She’s looking to confirm whether she’s in trouble. She knows that as long as the apex predator isn’t looking at her, there’s literally nothing left in the room to worry about, not even a crazed gunman.

That’s how much white supremacy strips human agency from a human being.

Check out the degree of racial hypervigilance in her eyeballs, too. I wrote about this the other day. That’s fear. She’s still learning the ropes of how quickly the apex predator coordinates responses from THE group she’ll never be a part of — a classic ‘outsider’ vibe that always seems to heighten the drama in these MAGA-era spectacles.

Whew! And there she was again, the overperformer, back on her feet almost right away with her hair perfectly out of the way this time, in front of the nearest camera she could find— who in their right mind wants to waste a good dress when a gala ends prematurely? Apparently, she was saying a whole lot of nothing … according to this👇🏽 gentleman colleague of hers.

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…“He said… He kept in close touch … He thought … He was reflective …” … C’mon, lady. Trump? Lol! She added, ‘… journalists ran to the crisis, not away from it. Well ... That 👇🏽 was her.

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Anyway, what a commendable job at holding the needle completely still for other minorities … or is it holding the needle completely still for an administration that is in constant media battles with the truth? But hey, don’t take my word for it, I’m sure she’s killing it in MAGA.

One thing she failed to mention in the interview was the hard lesson she learned that night: Trump leaves first. She literally tried to make a run for it off the stage before Trump was evacuated. *Big No. No. She was physically blocked from leaving — shouldered and elbowed. Otherwise, *there was literally no need for her to crawl off the stage the way she did.

Trump and his inner circle of other MAGA rats also did the same thing and held court in the James S. Brady room. The optics at that briefing were just as surreal as the shooting itself — the mood was giving the faces kids make when they pull off a prank.

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We’re learning the finer details of what’s turning out to be the most ridiculously haphazard security breach of all time; a ‘lone’ gunman attempted to make a run for it into the venue past several armed Secret Service agents, before coming into the path of a ‘flying’ bulletproof vest that stopped him in his tracks.

As in, a gunman who opened fire in close quarters walked out the same way they came in, physically unscathed. What a punchline for a dinner that had a ban on jokes! Slapstick comedy, anyone? That’s hilarious! A gunman immobilised by a vest?!? Not lethal force? What a strange and unestablished modus operandi.

Who is he, Cole Tomas Allen? Or what is he?

But if you ask me, Trump’s ego was the real winner. He was staring down a 4-hour stamina test (the duration of the event) against the physical weight of his own eyelids, which threatened to fail him in yet another involuntary episode of daytime somnolence that would have been permanently entered into the national sleep marathon register.

The verdict is in, though, guys; no one can credibly accuse Trump of ‘sleeping’ or ‘banning’ comedy that night. The fake news media was also livestreamed, on their hands and knees crawling under their tables for safety in a total state of panic — the ultimate power fantasy for an autocrat who hates all of them and who now gets to watch that on repeat.

The American media completely fell for it — a sham, aka a much sought-after audience with President Chrump even after one of their own, The Associated Press, remains banned from briefings since the ‘Gulf of America’ days. I have no Idea what they expected going to that dinner.

The audience experience was 100% real

Because they were the main cast, and their authentic reactions were the most vital part of the plot.

The only problem with the sadistic footage that Trump gets to keep is the part where Melania is the first one to duck under the table, almost like she also wasn’t in on ‘it’ either.

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Almost as if she’s learning in real time what her new role as an overpaid prop now entails after the tens of millions in ‘movie’ payouts: physical danger. Trump isn’t having any problems extracting maximum value from his investment.

We’re watching as strangely comedic but nonetheless life-altering circumstances become a permanent shadow of the first lady — who can forget that near-catastrophic backwards fall she almost suffered on that UN elevator? The UN later clarified that it was Trump’s own videographer who was seen walking backwards, which triggered a safety sensor, and here’s what Trump had to say about it;

“If the First Lady wasn’t in great shape, she would’ve fallen.” — Trump

Not ‘we’? Talk about a trauma bonding event if there ever was one. Yet I must admit that I do enjoy watching her navigate uneven ground in 4-inch high heels (and above) — her face looks imaculately graceful in physical pain. The media has gotten back to ‘normalizing’ Trump again after he successfully orchestrated a trauma bonding event where they feel like they all ‘almost died together’.

Or something like that.

Today, the Department of Justice is demanding that all lawsuits against Trump for this ballroom need to be dropped because, after the shooting, there is an urgent need for that ballroom.