Why Are So Many Men Taking ED Pills Just for Fun?

The risks nobody mentions until someone you know ends up in the ER

Image by Diego Lozano

A few weeks ago, one of my coworkers did not show up to work. Then the day after that, he did not show up either. By the third day, the whispers started, and eventually one of the girls in HR quietly told a few of us what she’d heard.

According to what eventually made its way around the office, he’d taken an erectile dysfunction pill recreationally before a night out, without a prescription and without really knowing what he was mixing it with, and later ended up in the hospital.

I never knew every detail, and I couldn’t tell you for certain that the pill was the reason, but the story stuck with me.

I remember sitting at my desk that afternoon feeling my stomach twist. It was such a strange thing to picture: a coworker I saw every day at the coffee machine, someone who cracked jokes in meetings, lying in a hospital bed after what was supposed to be a fun night.

That night I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I told my husband about it over dinner, half expecting him to brush it off, but instead he got quiet too.

“That’s insane,” he said, setting his fork down.

“Why would he even need that? He’s like thirty.”

“I don’t think he needed it,” I said. “I think he wanted it. There’s a difference.”

He looked at me for a second longer than usual, that look he gets when a thought is turning over in his head that he is not sure he should say out loud. Then he leaned back in his chair, and a slow smile crept onto his face.

“Okay, be honest,” he said. “Have you ever wondered what it would be like? If I just… took one. Not because I need to. Just to see.”

My whole body reacted before my brain caught up. There was something about the way he said it, low and a little daring, like he was testing how far he could push the conversation before I told him to stop. I didn’t tell him to stop.

“Depends,” I said, leaning forward. “What exactly are you imagining doing with all that extra staying power?”

“A lot of things,” he said, and the way his eyes moved over me told me he already had a very specific list.

I felt my face get warm and my thighs press together under the table, but underneath the heat of it, a small, sober voice in my head wouldn’t shut up. Was that even safe? Was he going to be fine?

I didn’t want a fun night to turn into an emergency room visit like the one my coworker had reportedly gone through.

Hearing my husband actually admit he’d thought about it scared me a little, honestly, right alongside how much it turned me on. So instead of pretending the conversation hadn’t happened, I decided to actually find out what was true and what was dangerous, before curiosity turned into a hospital bracelet in our house too.

Why So Many People Are Doing This

A huge number of men take erectile dysfunction medication without actually having erectile dysfunction.

A 2022 review of **22 studies covering more than 25,000 men** found that recreational use of erectile dysfunction medications was common, with prevalence differing substantially across populations and countries.

The reasons were pretty much what you’d expect. Some wanted harder erections, or ones that lasted longer. Some wanted to have sex more often or delay ejaculation. Some simply described being curious, the same way my husband was that night, while others hoped for more confidence or better sexual performance.

What stood out to me was how many people got these pills from friends or bought them online instead of getting a prescription from a doctor. No one was checking their blood pressure. No one was asking about other medications. Just a pill and a hope that it works.

There’s another risk hiding in that part of the story too. Pills bought online or from unofficial sources may not even contain the amount of medication listed on the label, or could contain entirely different ingredients. That inconsistency alone is one of the biggest dangers of getting these medications outside of a pharmacy.

How These Medications Actually Work

I wanted to understand what was actually happening inside the body before I let curiosity turn into action.

These drugs belong to a class called **PDE5 inhibitors**. Inside the smooth muscle of the penis, there is an enzyme that breaks down a compound responsible for relaxing those muscles and letting blood flow in to create an erection. When that enzyme is active, the muscles tighten back up, and the erection fades.

PDE5 inhibitors block that enzyme. That allows the relaxing compound to build up, blood flow increases, and the erection becomes stronger and easier to maintain. For men who genuinely struggle with erectile dysfunction, this is nothing short of life-changing.

But when a man with a completely healthy, functioning body takes the same medication, the question becomes whether extra help actually adds anything, or whether it just adds risk.

The Part That Actually Worried Me

I am not going to pretend this is a story about a magic pill with no downside, because it is not, and I would rather be honest with you than sell you a fantasy.

The biggest issue comes up when these medications are mixed with other substances.

**Cannabis,** for example, may affect how some medications are metabolized, and because research on this is still evolving, combining it with PDE5 inhibitors may increase the chance of unexpected side effects in some people. If blood levels end up higher than expected, the likelihood of side effects may increase too.

One of the scarier possibilities is something called **priapism**, an erection that lasts longer than four hours.

It sounds like a joke at first, something to laugh about with your girlfriends, but it is genuinely a medical emergency. After four hours, blood is no longer properly circulating in and out of the penis, the tissue starts losing oxygen, and permanent damage can happen if it is not treated quickly.

Then there is what is sometimes called chemsex, taking these medications alongside club drugs to extend sex for hours at a time while altered. Beyond the obvious risks of combining substances, prolonged, high-friction sex while impaired raises the chance of physical injury to both partners, along with a higher likelihood of unprotected sex and exposure to sexually transmitted infections, since good judgment tends to disappear right along with the buzz.

There are also less talked about side effects, like temporary visual disturbances, since these drugs can affect a related enzyme found in the retina. Most of these effects fade and are not permanent as long as someone stays within a normal, prescribed dose. In rare cases, though, there have been reports of a serious and sometimes permanent form of vision loss linked to PDE5 inhibitor use, more often at higher doses.

And then there is the one that really got my attention. If a man is on any medication containing nitrates, something like nitroglycerin used for chest pain, combining that with a PDE5 inhibitor can cause a dangerous, sometimes life-threatening drop in blood pressure. This is exactly the kind of interaction a doctor checks for, and a friend slipping you a pill never will.

So Is It Actually Dangerous

The answer surprised me. It isn’t that these medications are inherently dangerous. For most healthy people who have been medically evaluated and prescribed the medication, taking the recommended dose is generally considered safe, even though it’s worth remembering that even a healthy-looking person can have an undiagnosed heart condition, low blood pressure, or a retinal disorder that changes that equation.

The problem is when people assume “safe for some people” means “safe for everyone.” That’s where trouble starts, especially when doses are higher than recommended, pills come from questionable sources, or they’re mixed with other drugs or with anything that alters judgment about protection and consent.

I also learned these pills are not magic. They mainly make it easier to achieve and maintain an erection when sexual stimulation is already present, not something that automatically prolongs sex all night or delays ejaculation on its own.

If a man’s body is already healthy and functioning well, the medication may not add the dramatic difference people expect. Desire and confidence in bed come from more places than blood flow alone.

There is also a psychological layer to this. Leaning on a pill every single time can create a kind of psychological reliance, a belief that sex only works with help.

The encouraging part is that some men, particularly those whose difficulty is tied to performance anxiety, find they can rebuild confidence and return to having erections naturally after a few reassuring experiences, since a lot of erectile struggles have roots in the mind just as much as the body.

What I Took Away From All of This

My coworker came back to work about a week later, quieter than usual, and nobody really brought it up to his face. But I have not stopped thinking about how easily that could have gone even worse, and how casually he must have believed nothing bad would happen to him.

That fear turned into a real conversation between my husband and me about what we actually wanted, what risks we were and were not comfortable with, and whether either of us needed anything beyond what already worked for us.

If there is one thing I would want another woman reading this to walk away with, it is this. If your partner is genuinely struggling with erections, that conversation belongs with a doctor, not a friend with a spare pill or a random website. And if the interest is purely recreational, purely about chasing a little extra intensity for fun, it deserves the same respect and caution as any other choice you make with your body and your health.

Desire is worth exploring. It is worth being curious about. But it is also worth protecting, because the best sex my husband and I have ever had never actually came from a pill.

It came from feeling safe enough to be honest about what we wanted in the first place.

Thank you for reading 🌸

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