Until He Does Not Know

The Inner Journey from Egypt to Purim

There is a level on the spiritual path called “until he does not know.”

But no one reaches “not knowing” before first reaching true knowing.

One must first know the difference between life and death within oneself. One must distinguish clearly between the path of egoistic reception and the path of bestowal. Only after this discernment becomes sharp, existential, and decisive can one rise above it.

Purim speaks of that final state.

But the road there is long.

The Beginning: The Purpose and the Shame

The purpose of creation is to bestow good upon the created beings.

Yet there is a problem embedded in the very structure of reality: The Creator is pure bestowal. The creature is will to receive.

When the created being receives, it feels shame — because reception is opposite to its root.

For this reason, there was a restriction and concealment placed upon the will to receive. In its natural egoistic form, it cannot receive the light. It remains empty, dark, in a state called “vacant space.”

Only when the will to receive acquires an intention to bestow does reception become complete — free of shame, free of separation.

From here begins the inner war between two approaches.

Mordechai and Haman Within Us

There are two inner paths:

The path of bestowal — to work in order to give, to resemble the Creator, to build intention above desire. This path eventually allows reception in order to bestow.

And the opposite path:

The path of egoistic reception — to use the desire as it is, because “it was created this way.”

The ego argues powerfully: If the desire was created, surely it should be used. Why create such a powerful will to receive only to restrict it? Is this not against the purpose of creation?

This argument appears logical. It gathers supporters. The whole world seems to agree with it.

This is the voice of Haman.

But the path of bestowal insists: not in this form. Not for oneself. Not without correction.

This is the voice of Mordechai.

Before reaching the final state, one must clearly distinguish between these two paths. This is called “knowing.”

To know that the ego’s path leads to separation, to death, to inner exile. To know that the path of bestowal leads to adhesion, to life.

Only when this recognition becomes absolute does one begin to approach true correction.

Faith Above Reason — The Impossible Step

There comes a stage when logic collapses.

Externally and internally, everything appears to support the ego’s claim. The desire to receive dominates. The “royal decree” seems signed against holiness. The bestowing intention feels weak, unrealistic, almost foolish.

And yet one is commanded to be in joy.

This joy is not naïve optimism. It is not emotional manipulation. It is not ignoring reality.

It is adhesion to bestowal despite reality.

Faith above reason does not mean shutting off the intellect. It does not mean becoming blind. On the contrary — one must remain fully conscious, fully aware of the contradictions, and yet step above them.

Above reason means:

There is no justification. No calculation that says this will succeed. No visible support.

And still — one chooses bestowal.

One remains with knowledge and rises above it simultaneously. The mind sees destruction; the heart clings to adhesion. The intellect calculates loss; the soul chooses life.

This is not natural. It cannot be born from the will to receive itself. It requires a force from above — an illumination that gradually builds a new inner organ of perception.

Lo Lishma — The Sacred Beginning

The path does not begin in purity.

At first, one seeks spirituality for oneself. One wants something higher, deeper, more meaningful. One feels that this world is insufficient, empty, limited.

This is still ego.

One is drawn by the promise of greater pleasure.

And yet, through study, through environment, through effort, a surrounding light influences the person. A new point begins to develop — the point in the heart.

Gradually something subtle awakens: Not only do I want to enjoy spirituality. I want to relate to the Giver.

This is called Lo Lishma.

It is still mixed with self-benefit. But within it lies the embryo of true bestowal.

Deep inside this desire, something begins to whisper that there is a reality beyond self-calculation. That there is a form of existence beyond reception.

That whisper is the beginning of the holy soul.

The Three Great Stages of Correction

The spiritual path unfolds through three fundamental stages, symbolized by three great miracles.

1. Exodus from Egypt — Escape from Slavery

Egypt represents full immersion in the will to receive.

At first, working within the ego appears fruitful — seven years of abundance. One gains, builds, accumulates.

Then comes famine.

The more one works for oneself, the emptier one becomes. One feels enslaved — compelled to continue chasing fulfillment that never comes.

Eventually, despair reaches a breaking point: “Better death than this life.”

From within the general will to receive, a point awakens that wants to exit this way of living. Opposing it stands Pharaoh — the stubborn insistence of ego.

The struggle is intense.

The Exodus is not yet correction. It is escape. It is the first restriction — the ability to rise above the control of egoistic reception.

This is crossing the inner boundary.

2. Hanukkah — Correction of Bestowing Vessels

After escape, the work continues.

Now the focus is not on using the will to receive, but on establishing bestowing vessels. This is “giving in order to give.”

This too is a miracle.

A tiny force overcomes mighty inner armies. A small jug of oil burns for seven days. In natural terms, this is impossible. The will to receive cannot correct itself from within.

The force for change must come from above.

Hanukkah symbolizes the correction of the vessels of bestowal in smallness — Katnut.

3. Purim — Reception in Order to Bestow

Purim represents the greatest miracle.

Here the true receiving vessels are corrected. The very desire that once caused separation becomes a vessel for adhesion.

Before this stage, everything is confused. The will to receive in its natural form is completely unfit for use. Yet the purpose of creation is precisely to correct it — not to eliminate it.

This contradiction creates immense inner turmoil.

How can the lowest become the highest?

Only at the end of correction does the paradox resolve.

When all the broken sparks are clarified, even the “heart of stone” is transformed. Darkness shines like light. Death disappears.

Then there is no difference between “cursed is Haman” and “blessed is Mordechai.”

Because Haman himself has been corrected.

The ego is not destroyed — it is inverted.

Joy in the Face of Annihilation

Why increase joy in the month that precedes the final correction, when everything appears threatened?

Because joy here is not a result of visible success. It is adhesion to bestowal despite concealment.

The decree is issued. Confusion reigns. The ego seems victorious.

And still, one clings to the bestowing vessels.

This is why joy is commanded.

It does not come naturally. It must be built through effort, through adhesion to Hassadim, through choosing bestowal when all reason argues against it.

Until He Does Not Know

“Until he does not know” is not ignorance.

It is the state beyond duality.

At that level, reception and bestowal no longer oppose each other. The will to receive itself works in order to bestow. The distinction between curse and blessing dissolves because everything serves adhesion.

This corresponds to the highest root — a level beyond intellectual grasp, a head that is not known.

One cannot leap to this state prematurely.

First one must know.

First one must distinguish life from death within oneself. First one must battle Amalek — the doubt, the cooling force, the ego’s logic.

Only then can one transcend knowledge.

The Endless Cycle

Each spiritual degree contains this entire process:

Entering Egypt. Feeling abundance and famine. Escaping. Correcting bestowal. Correcting reception. Reaching Purim.

The annual cycle of holidays reflects this inner path. Every spiritual root leaves a branch in time. Yet the ultimate Purim — the full correction — has not yet fully materialized in matter.

When it does, all other distinctions fade.

The Final Reversal

Before revelation, concealment intensifies.

Before the final miracle, everything appears doomed.

But the concealment itself is the preparation for revelation.

Megillat Esther — revelation within concealment.

When correction is complete, it becomes clear that even the darkest forces were part of the path. Even the greatest opposition served the ultimate adhesion.

And then one truly reaches the state where there is no difference between curse and blessing — because all has been transformed into bestowal.

That is Purim.

That is the end of knowing.

That is the beginning of eternal adhesion.

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