I Have Seen Things

From Ordinary Things Are Never Just Ordinary

Confessions From The Cubicle I

I have seen things.

More than I was ever designed to. I have held this post for well over a decade now. It is not particularly glamorous. There is little opportunity for promotion, no annual bonus and, to date, no Employee of the Month award, yet I probably know more about human beings than any management consultant ever will.

I have witnessed job interviews rehearsed and resignations rewritten. I have heard first dates cancelled, marriages proposed, exam and election results received, babies announced and the unmistakable sound of someone discovering there is no toilet paper.

I have hosted panic attacks, victory dances and conversations that really should have waited until the caller got outside.

Human beings spend an extraordinary amount of time building reputations and titles. Then they enter a cubicle. They leave those titles outside the door, along with, in many cases, a respectable amount of clothing.

In here, they are simply human beings in a surprisingly vulnerable position, quietly hoping the lock works, the toilet paper lasts and nobody chooses this precise moment to knock.

It is astonishing how much equality a cubicle can produce. They think they come here to escape, but they come here to be themselves, to put down, if only briefly, the weight their reputations and titles demand of them.

You may think I am merely four walls, a door and a lock. You would be mistaken. I have become a reluctant archivist of the human condition. For reasons that remain unclear, people tell the truth in here.

They practice difficult conversations before having them, cry before pretending they never did and, celebrate in silence because there is nowhere else to celebrate. They hide, breathe and gather themselves before returning to the performance waiting outside my door.

I have learned that the distance between confidence and uncertainty is often no more than a locked cubicle.

So I have decided to start talking.

Together we shall meet remarkable people, observe curious rituals and examine habits that seem perfectly normal until someone describes them out loud.

If I may ask one thing of you, it is this: when you visit me next, look around for a moment. Listen keenly. You just might discover that the most interesting thing about a public toilet has never been the plumbing.

Anyway…

Someone is knocking.

Until next time,

The Cubicle

Row of toilet cubicles, one with door ajar.