How To Delight and Mystify Your Grandchildren

Make your car an airplane

Photo credit: Zakaria Mohie on Unsplash

If you’re a grandparent, chances are you get the opportunity to cart around your grandkids. You get even more opportunities if you live a reasonable distance from your son or daughter who is responsible for bringing them into the world in the first place.

I’m more than happy to do it, but it poses some unique problems to us senior drivers. I feel perfectly qualified from a safety point. My driving record is near perfect; I had not been issued a ticket in years and the last accident I had was a fender-bender in a parking lot decades ago.

One thing I must admit, though. As I get older, I become less tolerant of my grandchildren creating a ruckus in the back seat of my Subaru. I find myself glaring at them through my temporarily-adjusted rearview mirror.

Probably not the safest move …

With all modesty, I will humbly share my remedy to the backseat obstreperousness with all loving but aggrieved grandparents.

A bonus: it’s great fun for the kids — and you!

Rumble strips

These grooved patterns cut into a roadway’s pavement, often painted with a highly visible paint, are intended to provide drivers with a tactile vibration when they drift from the lane or onto the shoulder of the roadway. The paint further enhances the safety factor by giving the drifting vehicle a visual warning.

In addition, my 2019 Subaru has cameras and sensors, including a lane departure warning that beeps when your car is drifting out of its intentional path.

Pretty impressive sound and visuals. We’ve all heard them at one time or another as rumble strips and automobile sensors have become more and more implemented.

Nothing says WAKE UP more than hearing the rumble strip hum!

I’ve even thought of an additional benefit from the versatile singing roadways!

And it’s great fun!

Flying cars

I tried out my flying car method of discipline when my son and his wife had a business dinner to attend. I agreed to take their young kids bowling. The bowling alley was about 10 miles away on Rt. 30 in Delaware County.

The kids were pretty wound up, anticipating a fun time at the bowling lanes.

“ Kids! Kids!” I competed for their attention, a losing battle.

“This car can fly!” I announced enthusiastically.

“We’re taking off soon!” I reported, not exactly air traffic control lingo, but ... through the rearview mirror I saw three pairs of eyes fixated on the back of my head.

Silence for the first time this evening.

“Oh, Gramps! Cars can’t fly!” the youngest cried.

I then turned the wheel slightly and carefully drove a quarter of a mile or so on the rumble strip. The car shook as expected. Then a satisfyingly loud hummm ensued.

“Can they?” came the question from the now-quiet new believer.