Everyone Calm Down — You Don’t Have to Have Children

Image by Michael Vincent Photography via Wikimedia Commons — CCA 3.0

There have recently been many videos of women gloating about how fun their single, childfree lives are. As you can see in the example link I posted, people like Matt Walsh don’t approve. Matt Walsh’s and others’ disapproval led to…well, this. And this. And this. And this. As well as countless Twitter/X replies jumping to the woman’s defense. Hell, I’d be surprised if the woman in the video isn’t secretly thanking Matt Walsh for getting her video so much attention.

Look, if someone on the Internet says that he doesn’t think you can really live a fulfilled life without marriage and children — guess what? That doesn’t mean you have to go out and get married and have children. You don’t even — crazy, I know — need to be offended. It’s called an opinion, people. Someone disagrees with some of your life choices. That doesn’t create a new law or constitutional amendment. But that’s not really the problem, is it?

People make videos on YouTube and TikTok for many reasons, but one big reason is affirmation. People may showcase their talents on these platforms seeking affirmation of their abilities. Others may share their opinions on current events or cultural issues, hoping to find those who agree or even start a debate. Those who simply post “lifestyle” videos, i.e. videos of themselves living their lives are looking for affirmation of their lifestyles. And a trend of people sharing the same lifestyle seeks to “normalize” that lifestyle.

If you’ve read my article, Can We Please Stop ‘Normalizing’ Everything?, then you know how I detest the current, incessant calls for “normalization.” And, apparently I’m not the only one. The real issue with these “single, childfree” videos is not that these specific women are living childfree lives but that they are seeking validation and praise for a morally neutral decision and also trying to promote that decision and influence others.

I love YouTube and (sort of) like TikTok, I think they’re both great places for people to showcase their talents, opinions, and knowledge. People should not, however, share something as personal as their chosen lifestyles. You should not require affirmation from total strangers on your lifestyle, nor should you invite criticism from people who don’t really know or care about you. People also shouldn’t (inadvertently or otherwise) try to promote or push their lifestyle on others. You’re not freeing yourself from a societal expectation; you’re creating new ones.

If you want to be single and childfree, that’s fine. While I do believe we’re biologically wired for companionship and reproduction, I understand that every person is different, and this lifestyle probably does work for some people. If you’re one of those people, great! But you know what makes people doubt your own certainty of your happiness? Publicly seeking affirmation from others. Go on TikTok and show off a skill or talent you have. Teach others how to re-create an excellent recipe you know. Give a hot take on a political or cultural issue. Keep your general lifestyle to yourself.