Heroin: A Poem

Transposed to text as performed by Elyse Cizek. Written for live performance Feb 2017.

“American Neo Beatnick #3” by Aaron Alpert

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I like men who look like they’re dyin — — from heroin

Holdin their shit together with green juice and guitar strings to keep it clean keep it clean keep it clean

I like men space between their thighs and a soft crop of chest hair they got from their daddies — — who they don’t talk to anymore but when they do he gives em money

White boys usually

They’re fun and don’t wanna take me home to their mamas so I can have a lot of em

Always something wrong with em

Bathed in mother’s milk cocaine and organic cigarettes Always somehow perfectly dressed Stink like the inside of an acoustic guitar and last night’s stage sweat

Probably not awake yet

Got a music career at stake yet sippin red wine like cheap beer around two in the afternoon on a Tuesday

Don’t give a shit about what you’d say

Texting a round robin of around twenty of us every evenin sometimes not me even

They kiss in default cuz they know what girls want but they’re not really tryin to please, even

I like men with shitty tattoos and commitment issues

Come crying to me when a girl of nineteen starts claiming she feels used but doesn’t want to stop usin

Abusin a drug of his choosin with indignation

Sweatin it out under spotlights hot with audience participation and I sure as shit might meet him at that party around three…

Denim and old ass black leather I can spot em wherever On his right side belt loop I bet he clips his keys

I like men who don’t look like they’re ever trying to not drink again Can never tell when it’s the weekend Gone for eight weeks at a time sometimes but can never get a night of sleep in

But never gets tired until we’ve got plans.

I like a man who’s good with his hands but isn’t really known for bein handy Get a little handsy Gotta make him wash his hands before he reaches into my panties

I like a man with fans, he’s a waste of my time with a waist smaller than mine and unreasonably tight pants he’s

Lyin tellin somebody he’s vegan

Switched from whiskey to tequila and from her back to me again

Quit smokin weed again Except before and after shows And on the road And in the studio So I’m not really sure What he’s meanin

Always quittin cigarettes so I give him all of mine Always runnin off somewhere usually a waste of my time But god damn I love a man who knows he’s fine

— So much I stopped trying to please him.