Chronicles of a Reluctant Traveller

Visiting expats in Auckland

About ten days into our 32-days tour of South Africa I was really tired and painfully homesick.

And feeling very guilty about that.

I don’t remember much about the stretch from Rotorua to Auckland without looking at the photos.

A scene on the way to Auckland. Photo by hubby.

Thank heavens for my husband’s photos that can always bring me back to good times I have somehow forgotten.

I used to feel bad about not remembering happy things as easily as the bad ones. Lately I have learned that it is one of the evolutionary qualities that stayed with us, although our lives at present look so totally, absolutely different from those of the first people.

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In short, remembering bad experiences is essential for survival, both for individuals and for the communities they belong to. If you don’t remember them, you will not be able to prevent them. Simple as that.

So I am concentrating on not feeling bad about unnecessary stuff.

Anyhow, Auckland

Auckland is the largest and most populous city in New Zealand, located in the North Island. Known as the “City of Sails,” it is a vibrant, multicultural metropolis built around two stunning harbors, renowned for its booming economy, rich Polynesian culture, and iconic skyline landmarks. (AI summary)

I don’t like cities very much, although they have their functions.

Correction: I don’t like modern cities.

I do like old cities, or more specifically, I like the Old Towns of old cities. Oh, and I like old churches.

Some of my best memories come from wandering around cities in Europe and the surroundings while my husband attends a conference. The most recent I have seen is Innsbruck in Austria, which we visited last year.

But that’s a story for another time.

Cathedral of St. James in Inssbruck. Photo by me.

So again: Auckland

On our way up the eastern coast of the North Island, the cyclone warnings started coming in.

We have many dangerous things in South Africa, but mostly not that kind of natural disaster. (Although the climate is getting more extreme.)

I had to work hard on myself not to panic.

The eye of the storm was supposed to hit Auckland on the Sunday we were destined to spend there.

First thing to be grateful for: we did not have to drive on that day. We were scheduled to spend the day at a friend’s house.

Second thing: no cyclone hit Auckland. Yes, it rained. A lot. But there was no danger.

We ended up seeing none of the things you were supposed to see in Auckland. At least, we saw the Sky Tower from a great distance.

We spend the two days there visiting three sets of South African expats who have found a new life in Auckland.

Auckland population (2023): about 1.66 million people; South African-born residents in Auckland (2018): about 36,800–37,000. (AI summary)

In the eight years since 2018, that number has certainly grown significantly.

The first family’s initial motivation to emigrate was the idea of giving their children better passports than the South African one. Our passport really does not allow much travel without the schlep, stress, and money of obtaining a visa.

Their children were at preschool age when they moved, and they left two sets of grandparents behind. Luckily, the grandparents are still young and healthy and can afford to visit at least once.

They are professionals, and their business is flourishing. They work with many South Africans and attend a church where about half of the congregation are SA immigrants.

I don’t think they really integrate with New Zealand society.

The second family was that of my dear neighbour of more than 20 years. They basically left because her husband was unhappy in his job and could continue in the same firm overseas.

Their children were a preteen, a teenager, and a young adult. Her parents were elderly and not healthy anymore.

The mother of the family took the whole brunt of moving an established family overseas, while she still sees our country as her home.

She did it for her family, and they all seem to thrive. I think that is enough for her.

She could not attend her parents’ deathbeds or funerals. Luckily, she managed to get her very frail father over for a visit. He died not long after that.

Our third stop, where we spent the rainy Sunday, is the single son of a neighbour who is a professional who had been living in Auckland for many years and is a New Zealand citizen. He is a world traveller and appears to be fully integrated in society. He lives in a lovely house in a bit of forest right in the city.

All these people are making good lives in their country of choice. New Zealand is in many ways very much like South Africa. But there are important advantages to living there, which makes it a popular choice for people who want to leave here.

All of them were deeply moved by and grateful for our visit.

They all miss South Africa very much.

Not all of them have the reserves to visit regularly as a family.

I think that’s the story of immigrants everywhere: an uncomfortable blend of resilience and homesickness.

I have learned recently that it is entirely normal to hold opposing emotions like these simultaneously.

Just because expats often miss their homeland terribly does not mean they are unhappy in their new country. Most deeply appreciate the life they have created there while still longing for the place they once called home.

Yes, it’s complicated.

I left Auckland with opposing thoughts in my head: happiness that these wonderful people could create new lives there and an immense sadness about the many great people my troubled country is losing.

Next up: New Plymouth to Christchurch

I am a published writer of romantic fiction in my native language, Afrikaans, trying my wings in the vast English world. I mainly write about travel, mental health, personal growth, and the privilege of growing older.

Thanks for reading! If you enjoy my work, please do buy me a coffee!

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