Yes…And

It’s 1st March, 2026. A small stage. A dimly lit room. A friend’s improv presentation. And complete chaos. People in black t-shirts are making things up. No script…no plan… pure vibes. It’s like someone who’s never seen a Mumbai local, trying to board the Virar fast at Dadar and in his mind, more and more and more people are added to the platform. (Ouch) And here’s the strange part. They’re all just failing. Gloriously, magnificently. Some jokes land, most don’t ….and I’m having the time of my life. There are giggles…snickers…bursts of laughter and I’m soaking it all in. Because there’s one rule holding it all together. Yes…And.

In improv, you don’t resist the moment. You accept it….and you build on it. That’s it. Yes…and. Simple. Not easy.

Here’s how it works, suppose, you and I…yes…You and I are long-lost brothers reuniting at a crowded railway station. And the first thing you say is “Yaar, you’ve expanded horizontally brother, I didn’t recognise you.”. First of all ‘thank you for ruining that emotional moment’, Now a “No, But” person, a debater, lawyer or our grammarian says ‘Objection, My Insta Bio describes me as ‘lean and dynamic’

But a “Yes, and…” person says ‘I got a new trainer. He gave me the diet. Forgot the exercise. And now I‘m committed to the process.’

That’s it. Accept the moment and you build on it.

And it’s not just on stage; you hear it in everyday conversations as well.

Let’s test this.

I’ll say two sentences — you tell me which one feels better.

Just say “FIRST” or “SECOND.”

First — “You spoke well BUT you need to work on your content.”

Second — “You spoke well, AND you can refine your content further.”

‘And’ connects… ‘but’ ‘cancels. One of those you lean into, you can literally feel the difference.

I was not always a ‘Yes…and’ guy.

It’s the second year of my BA. I’m in two elite colleges of Chennai as a debater, dragged by a friend, having travelled all the way from Delhi. I have great arguments. I have structure. And even though I’m killing it, suddenly, the rooms start feeling stuffy. People have loud, aggressive tones. Voices get sharper. Fingers start pointing. And I realise something. I don’t like this at all. Inside my head, I’m like a hippie — “What a bummer! Just chill, dude. Peace, love and harmony, bro!” Debating is zero-sum. Someone wins, someone loses, and something in the room gets lost. I personally love discussions and consensus-building. What if it could be a ‘Yes…and’? What if we disagree and still BUILD something?

Like John Denver, the songwriter said — “Who’s to say you have to lose for someone else to win?”

The hippie in me is very pleased right now quoting him….anyway, life moved on.

It’s September 2024, I’m back in Mumbai, after almost 3 years looking for a new start. I’ve had tinnitus since 2010, you learn to live with it, make an uneasy peace. . For those who’ve never had it, imagine having a constant high pitched ringing tone forever etched inside your skull. This time the attack is different. I can’t stand straight. I’m nauseous. The rooms start spinning. The ringing is WAY too loud. The doctors try everything. Steroids. Injections. More steroids. Nothing works. And then it happens. I lose more hearing in my right ear. I’m a musician, sound is not something I enjoy. It’s something I’m made of. And suddenly — I can’t hear the bassline underneath a song. I’m singing and I can’t tell if I’m in tune. The instrument I trusted my entire life- my own ear is now unreliable. And for months I can’t even listen to music properly, let alone play and hone it.

One day I’m sitting in the audiologist’s office. There’s a small device in my palm. Lighter than I expected. The hearing aid.

And I have a choice. I could say — “No, but this isn’t fair. This isn’t what I signed up for’ Or ‘Yes, And’. Yes, this happened. And, what does it open?

Slowly I shift, I start listening differently. Not just with my ears but with empathy. Because everyone is fighting something you can’t always hear. And somehow — through all of that — I end up here on this stage — doing the thing I’d always wished for. Public speaking.

The hippie in me saying “Trust the universe bro…It’s got better plans than your ears.”

You may not remember everything I said today. But there will be a moment, maybe tomorrow or a year from now — when life walks onto your stage uninvited. Maybe you’ll hear something that changes everything you thought you knew about yourself. And in that moment — you’ll begin to notice that you won’t resist the scene. You’ll build it. In harmony with whatever you’ve been given. And you’ll already know what to say.

“Yes, And.”

Photo by Christopher Campbell on Unsplash