Escapes, True Loves, And Miracles from The Princess Bride

I’m in shock. The news didn’t seem real seeing it on Tumblr that Rob Reiner and his wife had died. I haven’t seen Misery or Stand By Me yet, but I have seen The Princess Bride. We still have the cassette.

It feels like we’ve come full circle. The original Princess Bride novel starts with the author reminiscing on how his father read the The Princess Bride to him when he was sick. In-universe, William Golding claims that an author named S. Morgenstern wrote the text, and he’s just the editor. Specifically, he focuses on the “good bits”. The film adaptation drops this conceit because translating it to the screen would require excess exposition.

A Perfect Bedtime Story

Both the book of The Princess Bride and the film have a parental figure narrate the story. The boy’s father does so and instills a love of reading in him in the book, while the boy’s grandfather entertains him for an afternoon in the film. While William Goldman has fun with the meta text in the novel, calling it an “abridged” version since he claims the original Princess Bride was intended as a satire about the fictional country of Florin, we don’t get those footnotes in the film. All we get is a story.

Buttercup falls for her father’s farmhand, and he eventually returns her feelings. To seek his fortune, Westley goes to sea. Unfortunately, pirates attack his ship, and they take no prisoners. Buttercup mourns and swears never to love again; she only agrees to marry a local prince a few years later when he threatens to kill her if she refuses. Prince Humperdinck seems arrogant and controlling, but he doesn’t promise to love Buttercup. He’s upfront that he likes her being beautiful and charming to the populace.

Unfortunately, marrying a murderous prince is the least of our heroine’s problems. Their engagement leads to assassins kidnapping Buttercup and a mysterious pirate tracking them. Great adventure ensues; Grandpa promises the boy that there are sports, true love, and great danger. The story delivers on all the above.

When the masked pirate finally rescues Buttercup, albeit with some cruel remarks that lead to her pushing him down a hill, he reveals that he is Wesley. The rest of the story becomes how Humperdinck wants to keep them apart after catching up, and Westley is determined to run off with Buttercup, sailing towards a happy ending.

How to Write A Perfect Movie

The Princess Bride sets the scene quickly. Though the boy complains about the story starting with kisses, he becomes invested as shrieking eels chase Buttercup in the ocean and swordsman Inigo Montoya relates his backstory to the mysterious masked pirate. Well-timed pun games and wit move the suspense along as everyone gets immortal lines. (“You seem like a decent fellow; I hate to die” is ingrained in my brain forever.)

Inigo’s scene establishes the tone for how great this film will be. He allows the masked man to rest before they will duel to the death and explains that he’s looking for a six-fingered rogue. That rogue killed his father when Inigo was seven. Despite being his enemy, the masked man feels sympathy for Inigo and hopes that he finds his father’s killer. Their duel becomes a conversation in skill, etiquette, and showmanship.

After such a scene, it feels impossible for any other to match its impact. The film crew does the impossible and creates more unforgettable scenes: Vizzini’s battle of wits with Wesley is hilarious and confusing, while Buttercup’s nightmare plays up sensory overload for guilt. Miracle Max’s comedy bruised actor Mandy Patinkin’s ribs because he had to hold in his laughter during all of the takes. Many of us screamed along with Wesley when the Machine ripped years off his life.

The villains also pose a credible threat. Humperdinck hides a cunning cruelty behind his comedic demeanor; so does his right-hand man. Though he pretends to worry about a kidnapped Buttercup, he sees her as a pretty pawn. Buttercup already knows about his cruelty, as he threatened to execute her in the book if she didn’t agree to marry him. Still, she assumes she can reason with him when he has several crossbows aimed at Wesley. Rugen does experiments to measure levels of pain responses without the test subjects’ informed consent. We find out within seconds to not trust him.

Plot payoff matters for the villains’ defeat to have impact; Inigo’s friend Fezzik identifies the six-fingered man. Count Rugen works for Humperdinck, who plans to marry Buttercup, kill her, and frame the neighboring country Guilder for it. They conspire to find Wesley, who beat them both fairly in combat, so that Inigo can get his revenge and Wesley can rescue his true love.

As a result, the climax keeps the ball rolling as Humperdinck attempts to rush through the marriage and Count Rugen hits Inigo with every dirty trick and blow he can find. When Inigo confronts his father’s killer, the scene bounces between catharsis, comedy, and suspense in the dark. We feel his anger and grief, jabbing his sword to get the closure and revenge he desires.

“Anybody Want A Peanut?”

The Princess Bride endures because it blends humor with suspense and compelling characters. Rob Reiner worked with a book that an experienced screenwriter had drafted. He took the “good bits” of the fictional good bits and elevated them with the crew’s help. The audience gets a slew of scenes and lines that won’t leave the mind. I quoted the “No more rhymes, I mean it!/ Anybody want a peanut?” scene for years with my family.

We also get a sweet irony; the framing device is about a father or grandfather passing on a beloved story to the next generation. Thanks to the movie, many real-life families have done the same. New kids worry if the eels will eat Buttercup, or if Inigo will beat Wesley. They have those memories and reminders of joy to go with terror.

Misery is next on the list for viewing Reiner’s films. Just need to psyche myself up for a writer trapped in a house with Kathy Bates at her scariest.