Why Waiting for Someone Who’s Not Ready Hurts the Most

I told her I would wait…

Not just for a day or a week.. but as long as it took. I believed that one day she would see my love and realize it was real. Although I didn’t expect her to love me right away… I only hoped that maybe if I kept caring or kept being there for her in her ups and lows.. maybe… maybe she would understand how much she meant to me.

But she didn’t… haha

She said she wasn’t ready and she didn’t want a relationship right now, AND… and I respected her with that decision of hers. I never did or wanted to forced her, even if she felt that way I am sorry for that to her, I never want her to feel pressure for me… I didn’t ask for much… just…. just time, a little attention, a little effort… but even that felt too much for her to give i guess..

And that’s when it started to hurt.

Because the more I gave the more empty I started to feel.

I watched her make time for others… laughing chatting, making memories with them but…. while I was left with unread messages and cold replies. She said she didn’t want to give effort right now, but… somehow, she still had energy for others. That’s when I realized… maybe I just wasn’t speacial to her.

That broke me a little.

I didn’t want to be “just a friend”, I didn’t want her to talk to me out of pity, I just wanted to matter… I wanted to be the one she thought of when something nice happened or when she was sad or when she had something to share.

But I wasn’t.

She said she gave me a small gift so I could “remember her”, but how do you forget someone who’s always in your mind anyway?

I kept waiting, thinking thing might change, but nothing did… The worst part is she saw my effort and saw how much I cared, she knew I was hurting and still she stayed distant… maybe because…. my love was just a burden.

So now I am here trying to move on, trying to distract myself, to smile when my heart still feels heavy.

To anyone out there who is waiting for someone who’s not ready.. :

I know it hurts… I know it feels like you are holding onto hope while slowly falling apart, but please… pleasee remember my friend… you deserve some who chooses you now NOT “maybe later”. Now.

Please don’t lose yourself while waiting for someone to find you..

You matter. Your love matters. You deserve peace…