Hello March!!!!

Happy Women’s month; In my mother’s words, “who born girl nor dey suffer”

For Akp

It’s been a rollercoaster month for my emotions, I must say. I stopped attending Abba’s class in the middle of the month and just struggled to stay happy even for a day. I was losing my happiness, and it’s hard to show up every day without taking a break, because the world never takes a break. Some days I remember my late father , other times I remember so many mistakes I made , or the hurt committed to me and the ripple effects I get to leave it. So when i saw the post about maybe Jesus told us to forgive 70*7 times maybe it wasnt just for how many times we were hurt but how many times we remember because o boy i remembered alot this month. Even remember the harm I had caused and wondered why ? Agbadudu Mera, why? So yeah, that’s the rollercoaster of my month. Hope you had a better month

Mamaaaa My mother’s month is March too. Although she doesn’t like the prof, who is a big birthday person, we (her wonderful children) still find a way to celebrate her. My mother is everything you can think of: Doctor, Pastor, Teacher, Mechanic, Plumber, Electrician, Generator woman, best in pricing, best in yabbing, best in everything she knows and does not know. Always claiming to know it more than us. She will read this and probably come for me; that’s okay.

One of the most amazing things Mamaaaa did for us was encouraging our academic pursuits. She never understands our science books, but will stay awake with us if we need to be up at night reading . Anything that would make reading better for us, Mama would buy with her last money . We were quick to have rechargeable lamps, generators, lesson teachers, too many books that filled our dining table and rooms, and too many extra lessons. She knew I had a habit of eating and reading at night and would buy my fav (bread and malt) so I would have no excuse for not reading.

Many people saw our fathers’ academic achievements as a reason we were scholars, but nobody saw Maaamaaa sitting in the dining room with us, making sure we did not sleep off, checking to see if assignments were done, and bribing us with just about anything to make sure we read. To date , mamaaaa is still my favourite alarm clock and academic encourager. ( Help me say Happy Birthday, MAMA Mera here)

Fighting the everyday war

I learnt how to fight the “everyday war” quite early in life . I totally and utterly believe that if we fight today and don’t win, we fight another day, and until we win, we will keep fighting. So I have always had battles I would arrange and believe that I would win. So when I came to Christ, I had so much faith, and till today I begin anything or any phase with the mindset that “I will win , I will win , I must win, I’m no bastard, I know my papa , I must win” . I’m writing this to remind myself and anyone else that, until the master comes or we are called, we don’t stop fighting. The next career break , the next big deal , the next relocation plan, the next relationship, the next or first child, “ we must win , we will win , we shall win” because these days my feet would wriggle and I find my sword heavier than my hands . I’m being helped up by the prayers of my loved ones, and I’m grateful, but I must fight so they can fight too, and we can all win. So once again, “we will win, I will win , we must win”

Abbas class Yeah, I’m back in class, and I think I will have to attend healing class once again . Mehn, it never ever stops hurting, but like King David, I have started writing psalms to my father. Some days, I would repeat after him, saying ;

“Listen, God! Please, pay attention! Can you make sense of these ramblings? My groans and cries? King-God, I need your help. Every morning You’ll hear me at it again. Every morning I lay out the pieces of my life on your altar and watch for fire to descend.”

Or “break in, God, and break up this fight; If you love me at all, get me out of here. I’m no good to you dead, am I? I can’t sing in your choir if I’m buried in some tomb!

6–7 I’m tired of all this — so tired. My bed has been floating forty days and nights On the flood of my tears. My mattress is soaked, soggy with tears. The sockets of my eyes are black holes; nearly blind, I squint and grope.”

and I would hear

Get out of here, you Devil’s crew: At last, God has heard my sobs. My requests have all been granted, My prayers are answered.

and the congregation shall say “Amin”

Love Shuga Lollipop Star