COURAGE

Markwayne Mullin Is So Brave

This time, he doesn’t just want to bite in the name of patriotism

Nom nom nom. Photo by Luiza Sayfullina on Unsplash

Remember Markwayne Mullin? Markwayne is the guy who wanted to fight the president of the Teamsters. Then Markwayne wanted to bite the president of the Teamsters.

Well, Senator Mullin is back in the news with more bravery and courage. On April 21, Markwayne posted this tweet:

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He will lead the breach! He will lay down cover fire! He will expose himself! Rawr! You can feel the testosterone slapping you in your face!

Obviously, Markwayne is the bravest senator in the Senate. He’s not scared of anything. Well…

On January 6, Markwayne Mullin did not do the brave. He did not do the courage. He hid behind a chair.

Gotta say, this does not scream macho. Image from Reddit.

Markwayne Mullin did not “lay down fire” on January 6. He did try to lie down behind a chair, and perhaps he bit the inside of his cheek in fear. He certainly didn’t “lead the breach.”

On April 4, Senator Markwayne stood in a stairwell and mused about shooting reporters in the face.

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Ermahgerd, the courage! To end “fake news,” Mullin thinks Trumpers should be able to just shoot journalists in their faces. In other words, if a news person writes something uncomplimentary about Mango Mussolini, Markwayne will get one of his guns and blow their brains out.

Markwayne Mullin never served in the military. He attended college but didn’t graduate. He has an associate's degree in construction technology. No shame, since yours truly only has a degree from a culinary school. Markwayne is an able-bodied person, and he had many opportunities to take his fake bravado and test it in the Armed Services.

Instead, he became rich. At the end of 2021, Markwayne’s reported assets skyrocketed from $31.6 million to $75.6 million. You can’t make that kind of money serving your country.

So now, Markwayne Mullin pretends to be courageous. He wants to murder journalists, he wants to fight/bite a teamster, and he will “lay down cover fire” because he loves ‘Merica.

Speaking of white conservative men cosplaying courage, anyone recall Christopher Cantwell? This charming Nazi was one of the leaders of the “Unite The Right” rally in Charlottesville, and marched proudly while screaming “Jews will not replace us.”

Cantwell was interviewed by Vice News on the day of the rally. Chris pulled out a semi-automatic long gun with a smirk on his face, claiming he came prepared. He bragged about how tough he was.

After the rally, things changed, and Christopher Cantwell became known as “The Crying Nazi.” He discovered he had warrants out for his arrest, and all that bravery went flying out the window faster than it took Markwayne Mullin to dive behind a chair.

[embed]Presenting the Two Faces of Crying Chris Cantwell.

Cantwell was so macho when he was goosestepping around with a tiki torch, surrounded by other Nazis. But, whoo boy, when he got back to the hotel, shit went sideways for him. On an up note, in 2020, Chris was found guilty in a case related to sending threats of rape and extortion over Telegram. And in 2021, he was sentenced to 41 months in prison. This year, Chris has been charged with trying to strangle his roommate.

For men like Mullin and Cantwell, violence is always the answer until they are confronted with the consequences of that violence. Mullin embraced the stolen election myth of 2020, but hid behind a chair on January 6. Cantwell bragged about his guns and screamed Nazi slogans, but wept like a toddler in his hotel room.

Markwayne Mullin is another rich white dude with too many guns and not enough brain cells. Unfortunately for us, Mullin is a U.S. senator and a hardcore Trump cultist, and that means he has power.

Chris Cantwell is most likely headed back to prison. Sadly, we cannot say the same about Markwayne Mullin.