These four things will help you feel back in control of your life

Did you know we spend 49% of our day on autopilot? — no wonder we don’t feel in control

Photo by King Lip on Unsplash

How are you feeling?

Are you feeling a bit out of control at the moment? Are you feeling overwhelmed with life? Or even underwhelmed?

Have you done all the things society says should make you feel good and yet you don’t?

Do you spend your days on autopilot? Did you wake up one morning and realise that everything isn’t as good as you hoped it would be at this age…?

If you’ve answered YES to any of these things, read on my friend…

As founder of @thelightmeupclub, our mission is to empower you with the tools you need to take back control and redesign a life that lights you up.

Background

A few years ago, I answered yes to all of the questions — I was burnt out at work, drinking far too much, staying out late and blaming anyone I could for the fact that I was single and I hadn’t been promoted at work.

I was basically doing anything I could to stop myself having to look inwards at the real problem: me.

Then lockdown hit and I couldn’t go out with friends so I moved in with my mum and dad at the age of 33. Not entirely how I’d expected my early 30’s to turn out!

Lockdown did many things, but the biggest thing for me was that it created space.

Space in the evening to sit in the garden and listen to and watch the birds.

Space and time for walks in the day away from my desk.

Space to realise that I had been trying to escape a life I didn’t love.

Space to realise that it was within my control to change that.

And that felt exciting….

Since then…

There have been four things that have stuck with me and I’d like to share them with you as guiding principals to help you take back control of your life, in any area, and they went in this order.

1. Decide to believe that you are exactly where you’re supposed to be

Lots of people talk about this and it’s often seen as a spiritual thing. But trust me, try it. Whether you believe in spirituality or not.

What if you are exactly where you’re supposed to be?

This works for the smallest of situations right up to the largest.

A train is delayed — instead of complaining, if this is meant to happen to you, what can you spend the time doing while waiting for the train? — maybe calling a friend you haven’t spoken to in a while?

A bad break up — what have you learnt about how you are in a relationship and what you want in the next one.

And for the more severe, can grief teach you something? Does it help you realise that life is short and that you could try that new hobby / business idea / date? Does it help you understand more about yourself?

(Note — I am not a grief specialist — if you are struggling with grief right now, please seek professional help)

Take some time to reflect.

What if what you’re experiencing right now is there to teach you something? What if you’re feeling out of control to remind you that you have the power within you to make a change.

If we believe this, it helps you get to the next stage.

Hack:

This one is simple — decide today that you believe you’re exactly where you are supposed to be.

When situations happen, ask yourself what can I learn here? or how can I make the most of this situation?

2. Take responsibility and ownership

When was the last time you blamed others for you not being able to do something or found yourself complaining yet again about that same area of your life which isn’t where you thought it would be by now?

What happens when you ask what YOU can do differently?

What happens when you take back control and take ownership of something that you don’t like in your life.

How can YOU improve it? What can YOU do? Who can YOU talk to? Who can you ask for support / help / mentorship? — the power is in your hands.

Hack it today:

Next time something happens where you blame other people or you feel yourself complaining about a job / situation / person / partner / child etc. Ask yourself — what can I do differently to create a better situation?

Step further — get clear on what you actually want in life. Use the Wheel of life to help you understand what you want in each area of your life. Then look at where you are now. How can you get from a to b?

Adopt a growth mindset — instead of saying I can’t do that, instead ask yourself how can I do that?

3. Live life with intention

Did you know we spend 49% of our days on autopilot?

It’s so easy to follow the same routine each day, maybe it’s school time, maybe it’s work time, maybe there’s a routine which gets you there in time.

But when we’re following a routine, we’re often on autopilot.

And when we’re on autopilot, we are not in control of our lives and before you know it, you’re wishing away the hour / day / week.

Hack it today:

When was the last time you interrupted autopilot?

Do something different

Even a really small thing will make a difference. Use a different cubicle when you go to the loo at work. Walk a different way to the office / to school to pick up the children. Get off the bus / train a stop sooner. Do something different with your evening. Anything to jolt you out of autopilot.

Why? This breaks the circuit and allows new thoughts in.

Set an intention for your day

Decide today that you’re going to be focused / creative / playful / productive — what ever it is, say it out loud at the beginning of the day, write it on your phone screen saver and remind yourself every day to live by that intention.

Why? This reminds us that if we want to, we have the power do get sh*t done, be playful or be creative — we just need to decide to be so.

4. Lean in to your intuition and what feels good

If something feels off for you, you don’t need to explain it. Just believe in that feeling. It simply isn’t right for you.

If something is right for you, it will feel right — physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually or even all of them — your intuition has a way of aligning you with what’s right for you.

Things that feel good are often aligned to what you were always meant to do. They can help you uncover your purpose and help you feel fulfilled. Whether it’s a person, place, thing or situation. You know if the thing lights you up.

Hack:

Tune back in by creating space. Space for you to get back in touch with who you are. Re-learn who you are, what you enjoy, what you love, what lights you up. (If you’re not sure how to do this, get in touch as we’ve got something you just might be interested in…).

Final thought

Try these four things to feel like you are back in the drivers seat of your own life.

Think I’ve missed anything? — add it to the comments section.

Want more?

If you liked this article and want more, follow me on here, on Instagram @thelightmeupclub or sign up to our mailing list where we drop in every Friday to share our tips, tricks and guides to empower you with the tools you need to take back control and redesign a life that lights you up.