Paradise Is There, But Feels Incredibly Far Away

Traveling with kids is hard. Do it anyway.

Photo by Samy from Pexels

The wind is blowing from all directions as the speedboat, packed with far too many of us tourists, makes its way to its second island of the day. Jordan (3 at the time) is next to me, trying to get a view of the water; Jason (1) is on his mother, cold and uncomfortable, nestled and trying to manage the rough sea ride.

Paradise is there, but feels incredibly far away.

I look down to Jordan. I can tell he’s excited but unsure, and tired of the long ride.

Embroiled in frustration, I spent most of the day wondering why we hadn’t just stayed home.

Last year, we took our two sons to Thailand for a week to get away from the routine of life, and to explore a new place and some new adventures together. Travel is a foundation for me, and it’s important I inculcate my kids with this mindset as early as possible.

While in Krabi, we booked an island hopping boat tour and set off for a full day of adventure in the sun — snorkeling, swimming across sandbanks, picnicking on treasured patches of white sand (at least, that’s what the brochure promised). And I spent most of the day resenting the decision to book it, contemplating the trip altogether — frustrated by the incessant demands and complaints of my kids and the limitations in our abilities to do any of the activities while we were shuttled around paradise.

While some experiences proved transcendent, most felt tedious and limiting — a repetition of life back home, with minor differences. When traveling with kids, the disagreements were still there; the resistance was active and alive; the monotonous routines remained necessary (with some exceptions).

Like the basketball hoop I had put up for them a week earlier, my aspirations had been denied; the romantic visions for a trip, free from the doldrums of monotony and full of exploration squashed, oppressively, like the heat of the tropical sun.

The trip revealed an inconvenient truth.

Traveling with young kids is not easy, and sometimes not that much fun either.

It is something I had predicted, and even experienced before, but chosen to ignore. I wanted to bring my kids traveling; I needed to. So why the frustrations and resentment? They are just kids after all.

Then, on the last night in Krabi:

The sunset is behind us on the beach — idyllic, as paradise usually is. I’m walking on the sand with Jordan (3) and we’re swaying to good music as the fireshows begin to sizzle. Jason (1) is in the stroller on the walkway 10 meters away with his mom, asleep and daydreaming after a long day of drifting in and out of the sun, the pool, and the chaos of this new place. He doesn’t mind missing out on the fun that’s about to take place; he’s one, and his circadian rhythm is calling for routine.

Down on the sand, Jordan and I are living life to its fullest. The loudspeakers blare out popular hits as sporadic flames jut out from tiny canisters. The young Thai boys live for this tradition, or so it seems, as you can feel the adrenaline rushing through them. It rubs off on us.

Jordan is lost in the environment, moving and dancing as if in a trance, taken by the music and the rich energy on the beach. I’ve never seen him like this, pulsating to the beat of the music as waves of heat rush towards us in intervals. He is unfazed by his new surroundings and taking everything in, with pleasure and as much appreciation as a three year old can harbor. I love every second of it, seized by the desire to film him in this rare moment of ecstasy, envious of his ability to completely be taken by something — the moment.

I watch, he moves, and we share an unusually special moment together.

Was I right to be frustrated on the boat, or anytime during the trip? Of course not. Nobody had forced me to book the trip to Thailand. In retrospect, we came back with memories we still reminisce about. Jordan at four is able to recall many of those experiences vividly, especially the scene on the beach or the encounter with elephants, bathing in the jungle stream.

It was an incredible time, one I can fully appreciate now, more so than I was able to in the present, in Thailand.

So I invest in traveling with them now, even when it is hard, and when I know the expectations or intentions will never materialize.

It just so happens I’ve booked another flight for next month.

Originally published at https://betweenlessons.substack.com.