On Birthdays and the Quiet

This time, two years ago, I was probably sweeping confetti from the floor of my parlour and reliving my first paranran experience. (Side bar, confetti is so hard to sweep off the ground.)

Hours before this, I was so clueless to the fact that there was going to be a saxophonist in my parlour, passionately playing the happy birthday song, with everyone else singing about how I’m such a jolly good fellow. I also had no idea I will be forced to ‘dance’ to one song I can’t remember, in front of my friends. I talked about it here. I don’t typically like surprises, but this is an exception.

Scratch that. Let’s just say I don’t like ‘bad’ surprises, because if I have to stand through another paranran session in this life, I’ll be surprised, but will it be pleasant? That’s the real question. I think we should all get one pararan card per lifetime, and the perk should be that we don’t have to use it if we don’t want to. Well, I’ve used mine in 2024, so that’s that. Anyway, it was the cutest thing because it was my mom that planned the whole surprise . I don’t think I’d have been as pleased if it were to be someone else.

Fast forward to today. This was my first birthday since 2020 that I was home alone for the most part. Nobody came over and I didn’t go anywhere, because honestly, I didn't feel like it. A quiet birthday, if you choose to ignore the sound of generators. It felt like a regular Thursday with a lottt of texting and calling (bruh, I don’t know how I know the number of people I know), and interestingly, I’m not even mad at it.

I’ve had quite a year, with a rollercoaster of emotions, ranging from happy to sad to ungrateful to grateful to hopeless to hopeful to meh, among others. It’s interesting how I successfully encourage people not to worry while I’m actively worrying. I cast my cares upon Jesus today and pick them back tomorrow. A rollercoaster indeed. But today, for life, good health, good friends and community, the year ahead, and ice cream, I’m grateful. It was a quiet birthday, but it was a happy one regardless.

Happy birthday to me. I love me. I’m proud of me. ✨

P.S: If this birthday was a song, it would either be Counting my Blessings by Seph Schlueter or Slow Down by Laufey. Or both. Probably both.