She Left With Nothing, and That Was the Day Everything Changed

A Story About Surrender

Photo by Carolina Heza on Unsplash

Before I begin, this story is inspired by my own life. The details have been changed. But the feeling, every bit of it, is real.

Meera’s ex-husband stopped paying school fees.

“Daddy, are you going to pay our fees?” asked her daughter.

“I took a divorce from your mother five years back. Now that you have decided to live with her, not me. I won’t be paying anymore,” came back the reply.

“But Dad, Mom doesn’t earn, how is she going to pay?”

Meera just came back from her ex-husband’s house after trying again for two more years.

In 2017, she left his house with nothing in her hand, just two little ones.

And now it’s even worse, two children and their expensive education.

She was restless, anxious, and all alone, scared inside her heart and her little mind.

She started working with a friend the very next day, but her mind was a mess, and her heart was scared.

What will happen now? Who will pay the fees?

That was her constant.

And it wasn’t even a small amount; the fees was falling short by four lakhs alone for this quarter.

Meera had only three lakhs in her bank which got after selling her car when she was at her ex-husband‘s house. She didn’t know she would have to leave in just five minutes.

And those five minutes were followed by the toughest month of her life.

Her thoughts were racing every moment;

She even passed on the anxiety to her kids.

Her son started cracking his fingers and thinking about the same question.

Where would the money come from?

Her daughter was still better because it wasn’t the first time with her. She left her father‘s house when she was seven years old. She had seen it all before.

Meera’s brother suggested fighting in court again, but there was no point because she agreed that if anything fell short, she would pay herself.

The pressure was even more this time than before, as it was about kids' education.

Meera was confused.

Should I work?

Should I go to the court?

Should I fight with my ex-husband, who’d promised to pay the fees?

What should I do?

She was stressed, and her thoughts were not ready to leave her head even for a second.

Two months went by, and she finally talked her heart out to her friend.

“I can’t take it anymore. I think I should go back to my ex-husband’s house. At least my kids will be sorted.”

“No one will be sorted there”. She told her a millionth time.

I’ve been telling you, but you don’t believe me. You don’t listen to me. Just talk to a counsellor. If you don’t believe me, she’ll guide you.

The very next day, Meera spoke with the counsellor.

“It won’t be a good decision for the kids”, said the counsellor.

After living in a mixed grinder for two months, Meera finally decided

I’m not going to go back anymore.

I’m not going to give a third chance to this relationship

This time, even kids don’t want to go back; they’re big enough to understand.

The moment she made a decision, the universe opened its arms around her.

She actually saw the sun, the leaves, and the trees after a long time. So much weight has been lifted from her body, and it reminded her of what her favourite teacher and guru, Eckhart Tolle, said:

Any action is often better than no action, especially if you have been stuck in an unhappy situation for a long time. If it is a mistake, at least you learn something, in which case it’s no longer a mistake. If you remain stuck, you learn nothing.

This is what surrender actually is.

Not giving up.

Not collapsing.

Not handing your life to someone else.

Surrender is the moment you stop fighting

the truth you already know.

Something shifted.

Not outside. Not in the fees.

Not in the bank account.

Inside.

The fees got paid.

Not easily. Not all at once. Not by magic.

But it got paid.

Meera still has hard months.

Money is still not easy.

The mind still has its moments.

But there is something different now.

She is not waiting for someone to save her.

She is not staying somewhere that costs her children their steadiness.

She is not carrying the weight of a decision she already made

She is just living fabulously.

If some part of this story is your story,

If you recognise the racing thoughts,

the cracking fingers,

the two months of almost deciding,

the truth you already know

but have not yet stopped fighting.

You are not confused.

You are not weak.

You are not stuck.

You are standing at the edge of a decision

that your whole body has already made.

You just haven’t stopped fighting it yet.