What the Goddess of the Soul Teaches About the Process of Becoming

Learning to surrender to your destiny

Photo by Boris Smokrovic on Unsplash

I have always been captivated by the intelligence of nature. Butterflies know their migration route without having made the journey before. Bears know when to hibernate and when to emerge. When it’s time to lay their eggs, sea turtles navigate back to the exact location where they were born.

It is easy to forget that these same impulses and knowings are available to us as well.

We have been told to chase happiness in people or things outside ourselves. Society has led us to believe that we need to create our destiny, rather than trusting in the innate wisdom within us.

As I’ve embarked on this journey to reconnect with my true nature, I’ve found inspiration from the Greek myth of Psyche and Eros. It’s a story of what happens when the soul surrenders to the call of its destiny.

This is my retelling of that story, with reflections on what it has revealed for me.

The Call to Adventure

Psyche is so beautiful that the people in her town start worshipping her and neglecting the temples of Aphrodite. The goddess of love and beauty is not going to stand by and be outstaged by a mere mortal.

She devises a plan to have her son Eros make Psyche fall in love with the most heinous-looking man he can find. But the plan backfires when Eros accidentally pricks himself with one of his arrows and falls madly in love with Psyche.

Eros devises a plan to whisk Psyche away and secretly make her his wife, away from the prying eyes of his mother.

Psyche is pampered during the day by invisible servants and adored by her husband at night. She does not see Eros or know his true identity. And he asks her to blindly trust him and their love.

When Psyche finds out she is pregnant, she decides to sneak a glimpse of her husband while he’s asleep. Eros awakens, infuriated that Psyche has betrayed his trust, and flees to his mother.

Discernment

Determined to get Eros back, Psyche must now confront the goddess who has been conspiring against her this whole time. This is where Psyche’s initiation begins, as Aphrodite gives her a series of impossible tasks to complete.

First, she is asked to sort a giant mound of grains and seeds by the end of the day. Realizing there’s no way she can sort the pile on her own, Psyche begins to cry.

Ants take pity on her and offer to help, teaching Psyche about discernment. She must pay attention and notice the differences between things that might seem similar at first glance.

For me, this has shown up as learning to distinguish between the voice of my inner critic and the voice of my higher self.

When I’m not mindful, it’s easy to let the critical voice take the lead. But if I slow down and invite the energy from my mind to filter down to my heart, listening from that space, the tone shifts. Judgment is replaced with compassion, allowing me to perceive the situation from a more loving perspective.

Divine Timing

Aphrodite sends Psyche off again to collect the golden wool from rams. These aren’t ordinary run-of-the-mill rams, but aggressive ones with a poisonous bite.

Convinced there’s no way to retrieve the wool without being killed, Psyche begins walking into the river to drown herself. That’s when she hears the reeds in the water offering her advice. If she waits until the sun goes down and the rams are resting, she can collect the wool from branches they have passed through.

Psyche discovers there’s a right time to do things that allows for the best outcome. The reeds show her that patience is a virtue.

I’ve spent years impatiently praying for major life changes that haven’t materialized. Whether it’s dreaming of finding a partner or living in a new country, I’m reminded to trust in divine timing.

If something is meant to be, if it aligns with my destiny, it will not pass me by.

Setting Boundaries

Finally, Aphrodite sends Psyche to the underworld to fetch some of Persephone’s beauty for her. Psyche knows this is a death sentence, as only the dead can enter the underworld.

She climbs a tower and prepares to jump when she hears it say there’s another way to get to the underworld. The tower provides step-by-step instructions on what she must do to come back alive.

Upon entering the underworld, Psyche must ignore the pleas of the dead asking for her assistance. She must hold firm boundaries and stay committed to her mission.

The urge to rescue others is a temptation I know all too well. While there are times when helping is the virtuous thing to do, it can also be a distraction. By focusing on the needs of others, I have ignored tending to the impulses of my soul.

Prioritizing myself and my calling, while empowering others to help themselves, allows me to be of greatest service to the world.

The Beauty in Imperfection

As Psyche makes her ascent from the underworld, she realizes that she’s not looking her best. As she thinks about the possibility of running into Eros, she succumbs to temptation and opens the box containing Persephone’s beauty.

Breathing in the contents, Psyche goes into a death-like sleep. That’s when Eros swiftly comes to her rescue, bringing her back to life.

This part of the story triggered my inner perfectionist. I desperately wanted Psyche to return triumphantly on her own.

Then, I remembered that myths are not meant to be read literally, but as metaphors. This isn’t about a woman who has suicidal impulses and needs to be saved. It’s about the adventure the soul wants to have through the human experience.

Psyche’s mistakes were the essential turning points in the story. Her desire to know Eros’s true identity launched her journey of transformation, and opening the box reunited her with her love.

My soul reminds me that I am not here to strive for unrealistic perfection, but to embrace each fall as an invitation to grow.

Events I had perceived as setbacks were actually detours, opening a path for something else to arrive. In the words of the poet David Whyte, “What you can plan is too small for you to live.”

The Art of Surrendering

While this story follows the narrative arc of a hero’s journey, Psyche does not act as a traditional hero. Rather than trying to assert her will and fight against all odds, she surrenders.

As soon as she accepts that she can’t complete a task on her own, helpers arrive to her aid. This support comes from the natural world, a presence that’s always there for us but that we often take for granted. Psyche discovers she is not separate from nature, but deeply connected with it.

I’ve lived most of my life believing that I need to assert my will to make things happen. Psyche demonstrates that there are times when the most heroic thing I can do is surrender to the lack of control I have over a situation. This opens space to receive help, in whatever form it appears.

Gifts of the Goddess

While Aphrodite could be seen as the villain of this story, she is actually the catalyst for Psyche’s transformation. She initiates Psyche as she prepares to make her transition from naive maiden to mother.

Through facing the challenges Aphrodite has set before her, Psyche also becomes a worthy partner for the god of love.

After Zeus hears what Psyche has endured, he makes her immortal. Symbolically, she has moved from being governed by her animal nature to living in accord with her spiritual nature.

In the same way, the most challenging people have been my greatest teachers, forcing me to grow beyond my comfort zone.

It was an emotionally abusive partner who played this role in my life. That relationship illuminated my lack of self-worth and showed me where I needed to evolve. That painful experience is what set me on a spiritual path, which turned out to be one of the greatest blessings of my life.

The Process of Becoming

It is fitting that Psyche is often depicted with butterfly wings.

When a caterpillar is born, it has imaginal cells that lay dormant in its body. These cells only activate during the chrysalis phase. Initially, the caterpillar’s immune system sees them as a threat and tries to fight them off. But the impulse of nature is stronger, and it must surrender to the process of becoming.

Like the caterpillar fighting off the imaginal cells, my ego has wanted to be in control and has tried to fight off the impulses of my soul. My soul has always found ways to break through and grab my attention, often manifesting as depression or dis-ease when I have refused to heed its call.

As I move into this next chapter, I’m calling on Psyche as my guide to help me surrender to the wisdom of my soul. I am ready to trust the intelligence of nature to guide me to my destiny.

Catherine Svehla’s retelling and interpretation of the myth of Psyche and Eros heavily influenced this piece. I left out many details of the story to fit my narrative. If you are interested in going deeper, I highly recommend her Mythic Mojo podcast episodes below.

• *Love and Soul: The classical myth of Psyche and Eros*
• *Psyche and Eros: Our Initiation through Aphrodite*