Your Proactive Advocate: Dr. Cynthia Caregiver Speaks!

Celebrating National Family Caregiver Month: Part 2: The Emotional Toll

Photo by Jakob Owens on Unsplash

As we continue to celebrate National Family Caregiver Month, the next insight will address the emotional toll that can occur when adults are sandwiched between caring for their family and loved ones. The juggle is real and is mixed with unknowns, stress, anxiety, and overwhelming feelings of can I get it all done. The role reversal that often occurs when caring for aging loved ones needs much processing. When reality sets in and aging parents require personal and health interventions, adult children must answer the call. It can bring about emotional chaos. I call the fight-or-flight response. It is a physiological reaction that occurs in response to perceived vulnerability. It prepares the body to either confront the warning (fight) or escape it (flight).

Emotional Burden of Sandwich Generations

One huge factor created by the emotional toll is anticipating future needs and care. Many times, adult children are managing their own lives and are unaware of aging loved ones’ situations, often the result of not being aware of possible problems that can arise from newly diagnosed or chronic health conditions. The emotional challenges arise because the “what if” is not contemplated. Role reversal is not typically the first thought that comes to mind when taking on the eldercare needs of loved ones. The difficulty of transitioning to a caregiver of aging parents with health conditions will interrupt the personal family’s regular rhythms. Limited knowledge heightens the emotional toll, along with anxiety for not being more attentive to aging parents. Seeing health decline and not being informed creates an internal burden. When parents are constantly juggling the responsibilities of work, children in school or college can lead to deep emotions and show up with symptoms of sadness and frustration. Managing the needs of multiple family members can be overwhelming if you are unprepared.

Decreasing Sandwich Generation Emotional Toll

Planning and focusing on the needs of each family is the first step in reducing the emotional toll of caring for aging loved ones. Yes, once aging parents have needs, the sacrifices you once made change. Next, share your feelings with your family and include the children’s feelings too. One more thing, self-care will always be a part of the equation. Make time to keep your family unit tight while caring for aging parents and loved ones. When necessary, consider respite programs.

As Your Proactive Caregiver Advocate, caring for loved ones is a collaborative effort. You must determine who is responsible for what. Caring for aging loved ones requires a village approach. A driver, a cook, a medication manager, a bath person, and one who can support those bedtime shenanigans. Asking for help is a superpower. Encouraging all family members to contribute will decrease the emotional toll that can arise if they are not united and prepared. Next week, we will examine the factors that contribute to the challenges faced by the sandwich generation. Be safe! Be well!

Dr. Cynthia J. Hickman is a retired registered nurse and case manager who serves as the CEO of Your Proactive Caregiver Advocate. She’s excited to share her latest book, The Essential Caregiver Training Course for Corporations and Community. Her previous works, From the Lens of Daughter, Nurse, and Caregiver: A Journey of Duty and Honor, and The Black Book of Important Information for Caregivers, reflect her experiences and insights gained during her heartfelt caregiving journey.

Website: www.cynthiajhickman.com