The Medicine Prescribed for Sleep That Can Cause Job Loss, Brain Injury and Even Death

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I remember the day like it was yesterday. I was typing as fast as possible on my flip phone to text my spouse that Michael Jackson was pronounced dead back in 2009. As details were released, it was stated that MJ was using propofol to be able to get sleep. Propofol is an anesthetic that is administered under strict supervision in a hospital setting. I wondered at the time how desperate MJ must have been to use this drug to be able to get any sleep, until I myself started experiencing insomnia on levels I never had before.

Growing up with a narcissistic mother causes you to be on edge every minute of the day. I started having sleep issues back when I was a teenager and getting medical care wasn’t an option. We had health insurance through my dad’s employer, but using it was a different story. My mom was able to use it; I recall the many times I sat in the waiting room with my dad while she had her appointments. On the other hand, I went once a year for an annual checkup that didn’t require a co-payment.

Growing up this way led me to avoid going to the doctors even with insurance. One doctor visit could lead to more along with tests that sometimes required meeting a deductible. It could add up pretty quickly.

Months went by when I hardly slept at all — while working full time and taking five college classes. I had a scholarship and was scared of losing it.

During my annual checkup, I asked for medicine to help me sleep and was prescribed Trazodone. It didn’t help. An appointment with telehealth, the most affordable option, was canceled with no reason given. I felt overwhelmed and desperate.

Hours later I ended up having a seizure in the middle of the night. A visit to the was the start of several years spent struggling with sleeplessness. My primary doctor gave me Clonazepam (the generic version of Klonopin). which knocked me out instantly. I took 2–3MG each night over the next three years.

The downside was that I never really experience a good quality sleep, but rather a drugged version. When I finished my final college exam, I decided to stop taking the medicine. Grogginess was getting to me and the prescription strength wasn’t working as it once had. had.

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My doctor never informed me that Benzodiazepines should only be used for 2–4 weeks at a time; I was on the medicine for three and a half years, plus a five month tapering off.

The top five benzos that are commonly prescribed in the U.S. are: Alprazolam (Xanax), Lorazepam (Ativan), Diazepam (Valium), Clonazepam (Klonopin), and Temazepam (Restoril). I tried stopping cold turkey and by the grace of God, barely survived three days of insane withdrawal symptoms that I wouldn’t wish on anyone.

I was stuck seeking out a new doctor as the medical NP who had prescribed the medicine had moved away and was no longer with the practice. Finding a doctor who is accepting new patients can take a while. One doctor told me to take the medicine one day and not the next. This was mind blowing and I never made another appointment with that provider again.

Missing doses with benzos can lead to a host of awful symptoms as stated by the National Library of Medicine: “Acute BZD withdrawal is thought to manifest similar to alcohol withdrawal including symptoms such as hypertension, tachycardia, tachypnea, tremors, anxiety, agoraphobia, insomnia, altered mental status, seizures, delirium, and hallucinations.” Searching for a provider that would be in network with my insurance and understand benzos was hopeless and led me to learn how to do my own tapering schedule.

The University of Colorado Anschutz published an article by an MD in July of 2023, just a month after starting my tapering. They made a connection that long term use of a benzo can lead to brain injury, job loss and suicide. In the beginning of my withdrawal journey, I would find myself struggling to be able to talk properly. Forming sentences became hard. It felt like words had disappeared from my vocabulary.

It was like there was an earthquake at times going off in my head. I would have days where it felt like my head was in a vice. The tingling all around the scalp and sometimes in my body made it feel like worms were crawling under my skin. The anxiety was so extreme that I was scared to even go grocery shopping. Even going outside to throw about the garbage left me in a state of fear.

I had one month where I stayed in bed for most of the day. Sometimes I would just lay in the dark with the TV on in the background for comfort. I would thank God for every day I was able to get through and prayed that I would not die though the night. Every single sound kept me on edge. I felt relieved when I saw the sun rising.

There were many times when it felt like my heart was going to come out of my chest, it was beating so rapidly. I’m always the type of person who’s on the cold side but during withdrawal, I would feel like I was on fire. It felt like hot flashes and my body would tremble. Sitting as a passenger in the car or even too much action happening in a movie immediately led me to close my eyes until the moment of vertigo slowed down. It took me two years before I started to feel more like myself.

There are plenty of horror stories online of people suffering for many years after coming off the medicine. Harvard Medical School came out with an article back in 2021 on how Benzos are connected to an increased risk of Alzheimer’s disease.

I myself am middle aged and it was found that the highest rate of adults in the U.S. who are prescribed a benzo are aged 65 years or older. It was found that those who take benzos for longer than 6 months have an increased risk of 84% of developing Alzheimer’s disease. The study was focused those who were aged 66 or older and reviewed what medications they were prescribed from 5–6 years prior to being diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease.

Often times a primary care provider is the one who is prescribing a benzo to an elderly patient. The American Geriatrics Society has stated that the use of benzos should be avoided in patients who are age 65+. The use of benzos in older adults has be found connected to higher risk of falls resulting in factures, cognitive deficits and even car accidents.

This information was enough for me to decide that even though it’s more than likely going to be hell on earth, it would be better than to continue taking something for the rest of my life. Since healing from this misery, I started teaching myself how to design and ended up creating a Benzo Recovery Bundle that includes a daily health log, journaling pages, medication tracker and more PDF printables to help those going through this transition.

There is a silver lining to all of this. While researching for many hours to learn how to help my recovery, I came across how toxic most of the food in the stores and restaurants are. I’ve stopped eating any fast food in the states, stick to the perimeter of the grocery store and learned what foods to avoid the painful colon spasms I used to get. I barely have to take IBS medication since changing my lifestyle.

It baffles me to this day how often times taking a Benzo is shown in the media as no big deal. There are countless articles and stories from patients that show how devastating this class of drugs can be. So, before you hop on board taking a ‘happy pill’ think twice how it could have a negative effect on your life years after stopping it. Really ask yourself if it’s worth it.

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