Shaking Off Some Heavy Weight

Sometimes, we’ve got to do the hard things in life to get to the softer parts of life.

Photo by Clay Banks on Unsplash

I am a flitter. I have gotten better with my flighty ways as I get older. I am no longer a person who will ghost you if you have caused my heart to beat in an irregular pattern. I will more than likely schedule a call with you or carve out some time to air out our dirty laundry one-on-one.

In other words, you will know how I feel, and I will listen to your side of things — we will come to a conclusion suited best for us.

To those who are patient and move through life accordingly, most times, we are given more responsibility — more things to tend to and of which to take care.

This has happened to me. I have put my work in at my job, and all of that hard work has not gone unseen — I am finally the target of keen sight, and with these changes, comes the act of getting rid of some heavy weight.

I Used To Run Away From Change

Now, I run to it. I want all the change — sans smoke, I do not want any smoke. I have been with my company for a little over five years — growing with all things radiology and understanding the ins and outs of what we do and why keeps me grounded.

I am now a Level III Central Scheduler who trains new hires part-time, and I am also a member of our Engagement Team. Thus, my plate is beyond full and I do not have the belly space to digest everything.

I am relieving myself of several things that not only take up my time but also use up my emotional/mental bandwidth outside of work. One of those things is this beloved publication.

A Cornered Gurl has been more than just a publication for me. It has been a sounding board and a safe space for writers to be vulnerable and authentic. I have enjoyed every round of publishing that has come with being its owner, however, I can no longer keep up with everything and remain a focused human being for 40+ hours per week at my job.

I have shared most of the details for why I am shutting down this publication (again) in the final newsletter.

[embed]One Year Later, I Must Move On I love this space, and it will always have my heart, but I have to let some things go.medium.com

This is a change that is most sufficient for me at this time in my adult life, and I am one with it. Sometimes, we’ve got to do the hard things in life to get to the softer parts of life.

And as I get older, I intend to do more things that will warrant me the softer parts of life.

Will I Still Be Around On Medium

I am toying with the idea of also jumping ship regarding Medium as a whole. I have not yet come to a conclusion on this subject.

I do know I do not have the time to publish my own work nearly as much as I used to.

I also do not have the time to read the work of other writers as much as I used to or would like to.

Medium is ingrained in my heart, but it does not make me emotional anymore at the thought of calling it quits here.

I have devoted nearly ten years to this platform. I have been here for the many changes that occurred in the past, and I do not know if I have it in me to continue on for the many changes to come.

The jury is still deliberating on that.

Jernee Is Getting Older, She Requires More of My Time

My aging Chorkie is fifteen years old. Her bones creak. She can longer hear or see as she used to years ago. And I have to devote more time to her care and money, too. These are the parts of loving a senior dog with which I cannot happily contend.

I love her with a love that knows no description or name — it hasn’t been invented yet. I will give all my time, money, and sanity to see her push through this life until her end.

Although she is healthy overall for her age, there are some things causing me to pause and reflect a bit more on just how much longer she may or may not have with me in this life.

I’m giving her some more attention.

I Will Not Say Goodbye, I’ll Say, “See You Around”

Because I do not know what I intend to do with Medium just yet, I cannot say goodbye. This is simply, “See You Around,” for now. Should you find I have become too silent or you don’t see any posts published on a regular basis — odds are, I am taking a much-needed breather away from the platform, too.

For now, I feel as though I will pop in and read what I can whenever I can. I will not, however, press myself to be present here every single day. Honestly, I just cannot.

I am moving into a season of hearing what my body is saying and listening to it. I am coming into what my mind needs more and my heart, too.

I cannot knock anyone else’s hustle. Medium has been so much to me and more, but when releasing and relieving myself of weight, I will not hesitate to make this a place I drop as well.

I want nothing but the best for all of you, and I hope you are moving toward ways of achieving that. I am, and it truly feels so good.

©2023 Tremaine L. Loadholt