Being-Behaving-Becoming Born Again

Trust and Obey

The Wrong and Right Way

Have you ever trusted and obeyed religious church rules to please God?

Or trusted and obeyed enticing promises that you can become self-fulfilled?

I did for nearly half my life.

Until I realized following Jesus is a much better Way to Truth and Life.

*Marshal MuLuhan’s best-selling book, The Medium is the Massage (1967), describes how different kinds of Mediums have different massaging impacts.*

This enabled me to realize that Jesus is the most impactful Medium ever — because this Medium and His Message have impacted billions of followers during the past 2,000 years.

Keep reading to find out how trusting and obeying Jesus and His Message had a massaging impact on my whole being: heart, mind, soul, spirit, beliefs, values, perceptions, actions. Keep reading to find out how.

Trust and obey religious rules

Even though I loved God during my formative years, I was more influenced by religious legalism to trust and obey religious church rules, instead of God.

I devoutly tried to Be good enough (good thoughts, desires) and Behave good enough (treat others good) to Become a good Christian, but failed more often than succeeded.

This caused alternating spiritual highs (self-righteousness) or lows (extreme guilt).

I didn’t know there was a better alternative, like the apostle Paul describes.

He trusted and obeyed Mosaic Laws to make him righteous (right standing with God), until realizing this was not possible but “rubbish” to discard. Paul then trusted and obeyed Jesus to gain right standing with God. (Philippians 3:1–14)

This wasn’t taught to me so that I caught Jesus, like a branch attached to the Vine (John 15:1–17). So, He couldn’t free me from recurring spiritual ups-and-downs.

Away at university, I tried various denominations and witnessed similar religious legalism. Then stopped going to church.

To fill the void inside, I minored in Religious Studies. I learned how Christianity differs from other World Religions, gaining lots of head knowledge.

But I experienced no personal relationship with Jesus.

Trust and obey humanistic promises

Like the Prodigal Son, I wandered away from God, into the ‘far country’ of hedonism, known by its popular name: The Human Potential Movement.

Abraham Maslow’s ‘Hierarchy of Human Needs’ enticed me to Become Self-actualizing by self-developing certain inner Being qualities and Behaving capabilities.

Such as: ‘being open to new experiences’ and ‘doing what feels right, by ‘discovering new truths’ and ‘seeking self-fulfillment.’

I was totally Self-focused.

I stopped praying to God because a Self-sufficient person does not need to pray, a Self-satisfied person will not pray, and a Self-centered person cannot pray to Self.

I earned a PhD in humanistic psychology, and taught this as a university professor.

I lived a Self-centered lifestyle for ten years, vainly striving to Be and Behave in ways that would enable me to Become Self-actualizing.

Until my students asked questions I had never considered before, like these:

“What are criteria for attaining Self-actualization?” In Toward a Psychology of Being, Maslow lists 13 being and 2 behaving criteria. Why so few behaving criteria? Why nothing like the Golden Rule?

“How many people have become Self-actualizing?” When I learned only 12–15 throughout human history, I knew I never would without a role model to emulate, so I ceased trying.

By God’s Grace — He never abandoned me — I realized that no human-made Movement can fulfill its promises.

So, I was never attracted to the New Age Movement’s more outlandish promise that I could transcend objective reality all around me by imagining Self-is-god inside my own subjective reality (in my mind).

Years later, Daniel Yankelovich reported that 83 % of American adults during the 1960s-1970s embraced New Rules: Seeking Self-fulfillment in a World Turned Upside Down (1983). How many ‘came to their senses’ and sought God and His forgiveness?

I did.

At mid-life, I became a reborn child of God because of a series of God Nods described below.

God Nods are God-orchestrated events and people that fulfill His purpose and benefit those who love Him (~Romans 8:28).

*This is God’s Divine Providence, which is totally different than coincidence, fate, good fortune, chance or blind luck.*

Trust and obey the right way

God Nods became especially impactful during a year-long sabbatical in Australia. Away from everyone who knew me, I re-examined the Self-focused Existential Questions that had guided me: Who am I? Where am I going? What must I do?

I departed with no answers.

So, I visited my family and discovered all eleven members had become Born Again Christians. I wanted what each manifested: a Christ-centered desire to do His Will and serve others, instead of my Self-centered focus.

God then brought Stu into my life to explain how he trusted and obeyed Jesus while using humanistic techniques as a Christian counselor, without embracing humanism. Because of Stu, I continued being a professor, without promoting humanism.

My best students (all Christians) kept inviting me to come to Jesus “just as I am.”

But, I wasn’t ready to give up my lifestyle.

They gave me books that contrasted competing worldviews. I concluded Bible-based Theism provides the best answers to life’s Big Questions about origins, meaning and purpose, right from wrong.

I was beginning to realize that only God’s Truths and Rules enable a satisfying life.

Stu invited me to Marineview Chapel, where I witnessed an entire congregation worshiping God, wholeheartedly. For the first time, anywhere.

One Sunday, Ralph invited me to join his Cell Group even though I said, “I’m not a Christian.” Over 18 months, each member answered my questions and helped me find answers by studying the Bible.

I concluded the Holy Bible contains the infallible Word of God, written down by 40 authors, over a 1500-year period, while inspired by the Holy Spirit to write one consistent narrative: Father, Son and Holy Spirit enjoyed such love and fellowship that they created human beings to participate in this.

But, humans rebelled.

To restore fellowship with God, Jesus came to die and rise again as our Redeemer and Messiah.

In the winter of 1979, while singing “For Those Tears I Died,” my mind flashed back to everyone I had hurt. I asked God’s forgiveness … my restless heart sensed His Peace come over me, no longer struggling, no longer resisting.

Humbly, I accepted Jesus ‘just as I am’ as a re-born child of God. I decided to trust and obey Him.

On May 18, 1980, Stu baptized me, as Mount Saint Helens erupted. Unforgettable!

My Christian students asked me to share my Testimony during lunch time. An atheist student reported me for ‘proselytizing.’

When called before a Faculty Committee, I trusted the Holy Spirit to give me the right words to say, and then obeyed:

I gave my Testimony with peace that surpasses understanding, never saying anything disparaging about my accuser.

Several weeks later, a most unexpected God Nod occurred: this same Faculty Committee recommended me for promotion.

My Christian students asked me to lead weekend retreats to give my Testimony and to contrast Biblical Theism/Christianity against Humanism and New Age.

Using three Worldview Models, I contrasted each worldview’s truth-claims about Being and Behaving characteristics associated with Becoming a Born Again Christian, or a Self-actualizing humanist, or a Transcendent New Ager. [Other blogs describe this.]

Obeying Jesus’ command to disciple and teach others (Matthew 28:19–20) strengthened my student’s saving faith in Jesus, and mine too!

God Nods led to marriage

I was in conference room, focused on writing a term paper for a Christian course I was taking. An unknown woman entered, “Have you bought your ticket to our Department Social?”

When I told her I was on Faculty in another department, she left … and returned later. Noticing books tucked under her arm, I asked: “If you’re going to the library, would you return my books?”

She did, and returned to tell me.

Although totally focused on writing my paper about Jesus, and not interested in any women, these words slipped out: “May I take you to dinner at the Student Union … to thank you?”

While eating, Marilynne said she was working on a Master’s Degree. After a quick meal, I went back to my term paper, and she went home.

I didn’t think about her for another two months…. until more God Nods occurred.

Every September, for several years, I booked a room on campus for a Social, for my new students. As Faculty sponsor, I had to post the Facility License, but for the first time I’d left it in my car.

While returning from my car, I saw Marilynne in her ground floor office, working on an assignment, at about 8 pm on a Friday night. Her office window was open on this unusually hot night, so I was able to call in.

I invited her to the Social.

We danced like life-long partners.

We started dating, meeting each other’s family, and married in 1981 “for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, forsaking all others, until death do us part.”

God had answered my prayer: to bring a Christian woman/partner with 1–3 children into my life (Tam was 8). I didn’t want to start a family at mid-age.

Before and after marriage, we enjoyed working together to train future teachers to carry out Mentor-Assisted Enrichment Projects with grade 4–12 student-proteges so they could explore interesting careers. We researched this, co-authored articles, and co-presented at conferences around the world.

In 1986, we left academia to provide Mentoring Solutions as our full-time vocation and avocation [see www.mentoring-solutions.com ]. We trusted God to provide clients (over 200 thus far).

Writing about God Nods

In 2011, the Holy Spirit kept awakening me to jot down ‘whatever’ was flashing through my mind, and kept inspiring me to keep re-organizing and re-writing, over four years.

Until Marilynne suggested, “Why not write a memoir.”

So, I wrote Why Become a Christian? A Spiritual Memoir, and began teaching seniors to write His Story about them, not their story.

In 2022, I was meditating on Romans 8:28 (NASB version):

“We know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.”

I realized how God had orchestrated events and people throughout my life, and wrote God Nods on His Story About Me. [You can read more about this in later blogs and at www.god-nods.com ]