Quickie Minute

Independence Isn’t a Day; It’s an Attitude

My wife’s motto

Mmmmm… A hummingbird on a Keebler Nest Cracker — yummy! Photo by the author.

I know, I’m a sick fuck, because Suzi has no idea that I’m writing this, especially the picture’s gag line. But she does have that demented look in her eye.

Anyway, this story is not about eating hummingbirds; that’s totally a different article. This is about how my wife, Suzette, comes out with remarks that I think would make fantastic titles. This title is one of them.

Allow me to explain.

Suz and I went out for dinner on the 4th of July. We decided Chinese food would be the most appropriate way to celebrate our country’s 250th birthday of independence — away from a monarchy.

We knew the Chinese had asked the question: “Hey boss, some guy in a stinky white wig just ordered egg foo young. What the fuck is egg foo young?”

That waiter’s comment sparked the revolutionary idea in Samuel Adams’ head, as he slammed back another one of his finely brewed ales;

The idea:

“Hey, what makes England think they can tax us without representation? Cocksuckers! — Makes me want to dress up like an Indian and throw a bunch of tea off that boat in the harbor. Then to top it all off, I’ll get everybody riled up enough to go tar and feather some innocent bastard. — God, am I mad! Cocksuckers!”

You got to love the Adams Family!

After Suzi and I chatted a while about this amazing historical fact, she looked at me and said, “You know, my motto is that Independence isn’t a day, it’s an attitude.”

Then, while eating what most people in China eat, Champagne Shrimp, I said with a mouthful, “Gwreat! Could you pass me da Shoy Shauce?”

Ah! Good times!

Peace, Love, and Unconditional Happiness!

I’m Done! Branded art by H Mikel Feilen

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