Telegrams from Tegucigalpa: Satan won’t let me sleep

Diary of a Journalist Learning to Think in English | June 7th, 2026

This isn't an esoteric telegram, it's a complaint.

My next-door neighbor wakes up at 4:00 AM every morning.

It doesn't matter if it's raining, cold, or hot, he is always up at the same time.

Although he makes a lot of noise moving things around his patio, that isn't the real problem.

The problem is Satan.

Her real name is Picky, but not to me. To me, she is Satan.

To me, Picky isn't a dog; she is a four-legged furry demon.

My neighbor takes her out onto the porch at 5:00 AM and she won't stop barking all day.

I usually yell at her: "Shut up, Satan!" But she doesn't shut up. She barks non-stop all day long.

Picky —I mean, Satan— is driving me crazy.

• If she hears a fly, she barks.
• If the wind blows, she barks.
• If someone walks by, she barks more.
• If Donald Trump says "yes", she barks too!

Oh God, I'm losing my mind. I am fighting with a dog!

Satan won't leave me in peace. And sometimes, I only want to rest five minutes more.

But Satan won't let me sleep.

My neighbor is a peaceful man. He smiles. He says 'good morning'. He looks like a good Christian. But at 5:00 AM, he releases the beast. He is the manager of my torture. STOP.

FROM TEGUCIGALPA: END OF MESSAGE.