When They Don’t Ask, But Still Expect

The invisible burden of always being “the responsible one.”

Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash

How does it feel to live in a family where they don’t directly ask you to do everything, but they silently expect it? Honestly, that’s the most exhausting thing ever.

I live in a family where they expect more and more from me. That silent expectation kills me more than anything.

They don’t just expect in academics, but in everything—the good character (the typical Indian girl character), they expect me to respect others even when they hurt me, they expect me to take care of everything, literally everything.

They use words like, “I know you’ll do it,” or “You’re the one who is going to lift this family,” or “You’re the future of this family.”

I don’t feel happy. Instead, I feel fear , what if I fail? What if I give up? What if I stop trying? What if I’m not capable of this?

These expectations shaped me in many ways. I became more responsible, but not in a good way. I don’t spend much money, I don’t buy makeup like other girls do, I don’t shop for clothes, and I don’t ask my parents for anything unless it’s necessary.

I haven’t gone on a vacation in my life yet. It’s not because I’m not interested in those things, but because I know my family’s situation and I don’t want to put them in a tough spot.

The sarcastic part? They don’t even appreciate it. They say it’s just a “simple thing.”

And the most humorous part? When we look back at my dad’s past, he enjoyed his life to the fullest, friends, parties, vacations, and what not (all without a second thought).

Of course, I’m not blaming him. Poor guy, he just didn’t have that much maturity at that age.

I grew up in a situation where I couldn’t complain about the pain. Whatever it was, I had to keep it within me.

I’m exhausted. I don’t want to quit, but I do want a break from all these expectations. I want to do things for myself, not because of the pressure they created. And I believe one day, I really will.

If this made you pause for a moment, maybe it was meant for you. Don’t forget, you’re allowed to breathe ✨

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