I Got your COLA (Cost of Living Adjustment) Right Here (crotch grab)

Don’t believe the hype

Photo by Markus Winkler: https://www.pexels.com/photo/green-classic-typewriter-with-white-paper-12210667/

All Americans know that the inflation caused by the pandemic’s supply chain disruptions and Russia invading Ukraine has hit us hard. The price of almost everything has risen significantly. Pursuant to that increase, the Social Security Administration announced just recently that it will be raising recipients’ monthly checks by 8.7% in 2023. But that figure can be deceptive.

I just received a message from the administration in which it itemizes the reasoning behind my new rate. I’ll be getting a .06% increase. Oh, joy! Let’s get the party started now! Exactly how could that happen you might ask? The decision to DoorDash and background act at the end of 2021 is what fucked me.

The income I earned with those two erstwhile pursuits put me in a new IRMAA (a social security acronym which roughly translated represents the agency’s rich man rip-off) wherein I pay an extra $1000/year in Medicare insurance premiums. Put that pot in your pipe and smoke it, wiseguy. Every time you make a food delivery to a project dweller who’s paying his DoorDash bill with your tax dollars, you’re losing half of what you earned to the government so they can in turn give it to the fat lady who just ordered baked goods on a delivery app so she can get fatter and sicker. Such a deal!

Furthermore, talk about an incentive to sit on my ass and do nothing. Fully half of what I earn as a food delivery guy and actor is effectively getting siphoned off by the federal, state, city, and social security coffers. And to think I went off Doordashing in the cold and wind yesterday so I could fork over half the money to the Big Daddy who stuck his hands in my pocket so deeply a few years ago that I can still feel him squeezing my balls to this day.

Anyway — what’s the difference? The bottom line on all this is the kids at St. Jude’s will get less money when I die — and the fat fucks in the projects will go on ordering DoorDash because they’re too lazy to work or even cook. My work ethic and guvmint’s greedy paws will ensure that.

How’s this for a solution? I get to steal half the food I pick up for my customers — especially those on-the-dolers who live in the projects. Yeah, right. Hey! At least, a guy can have a dream.