Are You Afraid of Blushing?

You’re not weak. You’re special!

Photo by Edward Cisneros on Unsplash

It’s well known that some people blush often, some occasionally, and others not at all.

But few know that there are also those who develop an uncontrollable fear of blushing.

It’s called *erythrophobia*, and it can pretty much ruin your social life. Unless you realize how special it makes you.

Erythrophobia: A Hidden Battle

When I was a little girl going through puberty, I used to blush quite a lot — like many kids around that age. More than that, I had a visceral fear of blushing itself.

It’s been ages now, and although I’m still prone to blushing, I no longer fear it. I actually love this about myself now that I’ve learned what it’s truly about over the years.

Looking back as an adult, I can now make sense of the hidden battle I fought daily, trying in vain to control an uncontrollable reaction when, in fact, there was no need to. I was erythrophobic.

So, just to be clear about this: one thing is blushing, and a whole other story is suffering from erythrophobia. In itself, blushing doesn’t automatically make a person erythrophobic.

You can have the tendency to blush, but not necessarily be afraid of it. After a blushing episode, for example, one might think “Damn! I became red as a tomato!”, perhaps even laugh about it, and then calmly shift their thoughts to something else.

But inside an erythrophobe’s mind, that cursed blush is a bitter pill to swallow. It represents the visible sign of a vulnerability they want to hide at all costs.

And that’s where the drama starts. Oh dear, what if I turn red in front of X? What if I blush during the work dinner with my colleagues? What will they think of me?

Dwelling on the much-dreaded moment triggers intense, unstoppable anticipatory anxiety. The erythrophobe mentally struggles against the blushing; they call upon all the saints in heaven to break the curse of the red face, but, needless to say, unsuccessfully.

What’s worse is that the more they fight it, the more they end up blushing.

It all quickly turns into a vicious circle. Please, don’t blush! Their internal voice shouts, yet the flush shows up mercilessly.

And with blushing comes anxiety, inevitably fueling the vicious circle again.

No wonder. After all, if someone suddenly screamed at you, “Don’t think about the elephant!”, what would be your immediate thought?

Yes, exactly — the elephant.

And that’s the very point. When you suffer from erythrophobia, something very similar happens, but with a crucial difference. The elephant doesn’t magically materialize when thinking about it, while the redness promptly appears at the very thought of blushing.

If the universe has a sense of humor, it’s quite a bad one.

Photo by Siora Photography on Unsplash

Seriously, though. Erythrophobia can be extremely tough. It can turn your social life into a living nightmare.

Imagine what it would be like not wanting to leave the house for fear of running into someone you know.

Yes, for some reason, unexpected encounters with friends and acquaintances (even parents!) are common trigger situations for erythrophobes. It’s as if their brains were trying to convey the message “Hold on! I’m not ready for this!” And the flush comes in no time.

Panic sets in. Will they have noticed? Will they believe I’m hiding something?

The truth is, embarrassment stems from blushing in situations that are not intrinsically embarrassing, leaving those around you wondering why you feel ashamed when you actually don’t (quite a paradox, admittedly).

Little do erythrophobes know that sometimes their redness goes unnoticed, that people quickly forget about it, or that… others simply don’t care as much as they do.

Erythrophobes’ Survival Hacks (Or How to Overcomplicate Things)

When flushes are out of control and social situations become stressful, erythrophobes tend to get pretty creative.

Constantly sunbathing to trick those around you and elicit an “Oh, you’re so tanned!” reaction may be an effective long-term strategy, but not the healthiest one for your skin (and quite out of fashion, too).

Still, when it comes to instant remedies, dealing with erythrophobia can be challenging. Being erythrophobic means you’ll need to check the lighting in advance at your friend’s birthday party — you want to make sure your redness won’t be too noticeable.

Gentle lighting? A simple camouflage — the lifesaving green concealer! — may be enough. But if you’re afraid it will make you look like Jim Carrey in The Mask under direct lights, then you might consider giving up the soft approach and calling in the big guns for the occasion: beta-blockers. Patience for the side effects.

The erythrophobe’s number one rule is never to blush. At any cost. Under no circumstances.

If all this mental preparation drained all of your energy and killed your mood, well… you can always play sick.

Waving the white flag is sometimes necessary. The problem is, doing so repeatedly can become demoralizing because you end up feeling locked in a prison of your own making.

It’s not hard to understand why some, in a last-ditch effort, turn to surgery (where the nerves that control blushing are clipped or cut through a procedure called endoscopic thoracic sympathectomy — ETS).

Not a walk in the park, though.

Photo by Chela B. on Unsplash

But is all this tiring battle really necessary? What if changing your perspective is all you need?

Learning to be proud of blushing — that’s what can truly make a difference.

Let it Flush! And Five Reasons to be Proud

If you have an obsessive fear of blushing, you might benefit from taking on a new narrative — one that’s based on understanding how your brain works and why it makes you special.

So here are five reasons why you’re an extraordinarily beautiful person:

1 — You notice everything.

Your flushing has little to do with shame or embarrassment. It’s actually related to your sympathetic nervous system being overactive. This means that your body is constantly on alert — in the so-called “fight-or-flight” state — making blood flow more easily to your face.

This over-awareness can be a downer, but it can also be seen as a blessing, granting you profound self-understanding and an ability to see through people. You truly don’t miss a thing!

A little tip: next time someone asks, “Why are you blushing?”, try answering, “Because I have an overactive nervous system.” This reply will probably catch them off-guard — and who knows, it might even make them blush!

2 — You’re kind and empathetic.

You have a gentle nature — one of the rarest kinds. Your highly sensitive nervous system makes you exceptionally receptive not only to external stimuli, but also to your own internal world.

Your emotional spectrum is wide and beautifully complex, making you deeply attuned to others’ feelings, to the world.

Despite what you may think, society doesn’t run thanks to soulless shells. It needs people like you.

3 — You’re exceptionally strong.

Most people wouldn’t find it easy to get through even a single day carrying the weight — and gift — of heightened sensitivity. You live it daily with courage, without making a fuss.

It’s hard not to be influenced by the cliché that portrays blushers as weak, but nothing could be further from the truth.

Life is much easier — though, let me tell you, far less interesting — if you perceive only 1% of what’s going on inside and around you.

Time to realize this strength of yours once and for all.

Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash

4 — You’re authentic.

Your face speaks countless emotions without you having to say a word, as your inwardness reveals itself with no filters or masks. Any time you blush, it’s your soul shining like a flame in the shadows!

You might not believe it, but people appreciate your emotional transparency and tend to rely on you more. After all, would you ever trust someone who never — I mean never, ever — blushes?

That flush of yours shows your humanity and inspires genuine connection.

5 — You have a unique charm

People use make-up to achieve that healthy, youthful glow, but you don’t need blush to have that natural, innocent charm so many find magnetic. You already have it — effortlessly!

And if you’re thinking no, there’s no way your flushing can possibly make you look that good, then think again — even scientists, in a 2016 study, found that increased facial redness can make you appear more attractive.

So show your blush proudly!

In a world where falsehood and ruthlessness poison human bonds, the kind and empathetic nature of those who blush is a true rarity.

They’re neither weak nor docile.

They’re real. And this is what makes them powerfully strong.

Photo by Adam Nemeroff on Unsplash