35 Years Old & lesser fucks to give :)

If you’ve read Mark Manson’s *“The subtle art of not giving a fck”, you probably are aware that there are a finite number of fucks that we, as a species, are born with and I submit that we should use them wisely.

I’ve also realized as I started to look inwards that the world around us is designed to allure us to partake in new distractions; often incentivizing them for us to start giving a fuck about. If there’s a superpower I’ve acquired in the past year or so, its the conviction to say NO and stick to the ones that truly make me happy.

As I turn 35, here’s a list of 7 focus areas I’ve defined for myself. These summarize many “notes to self” that make my journey worth pursuing. I shall revisit the list to check if they stand the test of time next year.

1. We do live in a world which forces us to conform to well defined templates that are socially acceptable. It also encourages us to search for happiness within the barometers of that template. I’ve made my peace with this by choosing to be 50% conformist, 25% eccentric (for those dark thoughts to ruminate and rumble) and 25% rebel (with or without a cause). Like Sandeep Reddy Vanga says in Animal, “Happiness is a choice”.
2. Film appreciation: Films & Music have played a very influential role in shaping my personality. *In which other medium can storytelling, literature, theatre, music and visual arts come together to offer a moving sensory experience? I’ve given myself a personal commitment to watch at least 10–12 films every month and write about them in an effort to also re-ignite my passion for writing. My inspirations to analyze films have primarily been Baradwaj Rangan* (Baddy) and Rahul Desai, the former more for educating myself on how to watch films and the latter on how precisely to articulate my thoughts. You can ready my review of Vidu Vinod Chopra’s #12thFail here and Saim Sadiq’s #Joyland here.
3. Food Enthusiasm: If you’ve ever interacted with me, you are aware of my passion for food recipes from across the country and my occasional culinary exploits in the kitchen. I do plan to clock in more hours in the kitchen going forward and share my experiences through this blog. Cooking, for me, is akin to meditation. If you can experience the tears post chopping onions, the aroma of fresh herbs from a local produce and dry roasting spices, the vapor escaping the handi of a dum-cooked Biryani and the smile on the faces of friends and family who get to experience it first hand, you’re no less than an artist. I’m eternally grateful to my Mother who allowed me to be part of our kitchen growing up and to YouTube for introducing me to personalities like Gordon Ramsay, Gary Mehigan, Bon Appetit’ test kitchen, Claire Saffitz for baking and back home, chefs & storytellers like Sanjeev Kapoor, Nisha Madhulika, Ranveer Brar, Sanjyot Keer and many local street chefs who pack in so much narrative along with flavor into every recipe that they showcase.
4. More Mountains over Beaches: I know some can like both equally but I’ve come to realize over the past 9 years that I am a Mountain person. I feel at peace and a warm embrace whenever I’m fortunate to visit them and in a strange way, they humble us by just being. They are magnanimous enough to accommodate puny and fickle folk like us but hazardous enough to cause mass destruction the moment we begin to take them for granted.
5. It’s Ok to be Introvert-ish: I’ve always been an introvert, but was apologetic about it, even to myself, thinking of it as something I needed to outgrow. Over the past 2–3 years, I don’t feel the need to forcefully alter my personality just to fit-in. I know there are people I can depend on and a few friendships that have stood the test of time. Like a saying goes… “Find your tribe and invest in them”. I’m also eternally grateful to be with a partner who understands the 25% eccentric side of mine and gives me space to figure shit out. If you’re in the market looking for a relationship, I’d strongly advise you to keep mutual respect and respecting your partner’s personal space as non-negotiables for a journey that’s relatively turbulent-free and long-term.
6. Dog Person: It helps that your partner is one, too. I’ve longed for the day to get a pet because we were not allowed to growing up. August 8, 2020, five months into the pandemic, is when a small puppy (Rocky) traveled all the way from Baramati into our hearts and it has been a rewarding experience ever since. As Ricky Gervais would say… “I do not believe in Gods, but I certainly believe in Dogs”. Even Parents’ love for kids comes with some strings attached but not a dogs’ love for the family. Its unconditional, in the truest sense of the word; even Hathoda Tyagi from Pataal lok agrees :)
7. Kho Gaye Hum Kahaan: There is a video going around on Instagram where each and every tourist who’s gathered at Arc de Triomphe in Paris for the New Year 2024 countdown was recording the celebrations and fireworks on their mobiles without “living in the moment”. It felt like watching an episode of Black Mirror on Netflix. I get that we are headed into an increasingly digital world with attention spans craving for dopamine hits every 30 seconds but I’ve made a promise to self that I would use my screen time more judiciously in watching films, documentaries and long format content from other countries that will inform and enrich me culturally as opposed to mindless scrolling at 2 AM which I’ve been guilty of on more than one occasion.

On that note, if you’ve made it till here, congratulations… Give yourself a round of applause, may be a pat on the proverbial back. You have the superpower to read. Haha. One of the things I wanted to do this year, consciously, is to read and write more. I’ve often held myself back from expressing in public but not this year; It’s gonna be some ride so hop on for what promises to be a fascinating year of exploring life through films, music, cuisine, travel, stories and experiences.

Like Rajesh Khanna said in Anand, “Babumoshai…. Zindagi lambi nahi, badi honi chahiye”

#Turning35 #LiveAndLetLive #BirthdayWishesForSelf #Musings #Blogging #Reflections #LookingForward #FilmAppreciation #TravelDiaries #CulinaryExploration #LoveForMountains #DogPerson