KIM THA: RUSSIAN PSYCHIC PRODIGY MEMOIR — Home Sweet Home

We never have enough time in the world. After 25, everything begins to fly by. I turned 26 here in The Bay. I lost momentum to focus on myself. I only began living my life after 25, since I left my relationship. I have to snap out of delusion and realize that my reality is my actual reality. Which is not a bad thing. You have no idea how much guilt from my sacrifices that I endure. I just have to understand to move with a purpose. Avoid meaningless shit for sure. I turn 27 in like six months. I feel like I’m gonna puke thinking about it. I won’t be young forever, but at least I age very well. I’ve played myself but set myself for whatever I put my mind to. It’s crazy but it works out. I realize that I have to be more careful because people do watch me.

No, it’s not ideal. Yes, I’m still building myself, healing and trying to focus on the present. Only focus on things I can control.

If you didn’t know, I constantly get lectured. Sometimes, I keep problems to myself instead of asking for help. Which is bad, but realize that no one can save you, but yourself. Always, always have an alternative plan. Try your best to do good deeds, and pray. We are in a spiritual war right now. So, always keep vibes and frequencies high. Coming from someone that understands both realms. I sound insane. Well, we all knew I was lol

You guys have no idea, on my weekdays. I will put both of my phones on DND. Then, lock myself in my apartment until I find opportunities for a design win. I’m serious. In sales, it feels like it’s never getting us anywhere but they starve you, and give you high hopes of hitting a high number. Once you receive that commission check, it reminds you that you’ll want more.

Career, side hustle, family and home

From there fix everything.

Not perfect but thankful and blessed to figure it all out.

I’m literally a lucky walking trouble

Anyways, three months ago. I saw myself moving to Simi Valley, now I see myself moving back to Charlotte because tech companies are booming out there now. There’s a ton of layoffs going on in The Bay, and I pray for those that lost their jobs. The cost of living is cheaper. I just have no reason to move back, tbh. The last time I visited. It just felt like I didn’t have any opportunity to grow out there. Everyone of my friends are married, and settled with their families out there. & I don’t mind having an apartment out here, I negotiated to travel every month as well. As long as my hotel is pretty decent. Here we go again. Sales, modeling, and nightlife we go.

The hustle is much different in The Bay. Plus, I don’t want to go back to any mistakes I made in Charlotte.

Then again, it’s either that or moving into a new home here in Texas, or in general. It’s so hard to survive out here. It’s fun, though. It’s all happening so quick. Everything shatters in my life and literally. I’m left broken, just to put it all together again. My body has been enduring abuse for nearly 15+ years. This is one of the first times, I’ve felt calm.

When I feel safe, I instantly fall asleep. That’s really rare.

Men tell me it’s rare to tame me. I’m not an animal, wtf. Though, I am hard to keep around. Another is to bring out the feminine side of me. I’m not dating like that, btw. I am emotionally detached.

I deal with people always trying to take me out. & it’s annoying. I don’t make time for anyone unless I really like them. Or they treat me really well. Then, I’ll begin to want to spend more time with them.

Materials make me happy but I don’t think it could replace a soulmate. I just learn to work, work, work. I hate giving my time to people, tbh. If I do, I pray to God; that I am spoiled rotten, and paid. It’s rare for me to take off of work for anyone. When I do, I cherish those moments a ton. I will only take time off for my family.

I am lost in my head and spaced out over half the time. I think, becoming more private is a good thing. It’s okay to not be relevant. I mean, I am one in of the largest venues in SF, on magazines, calendars, huge events, and in tech. It’s a lot to be honest. You would think I’m happy, I am thankful but it’s a ton to juggle just to make everything work. Those things don’t really matter tbh, I just want to be happy and have everyone around me happy. I’m the one that has to step up and get it together.

What are your triggers? and ask yourself why they’re your triggers.

My triggers are not having control, people that yell at me, people that are passive aggressive, clingy and indirect. Let’s do some self reflection. I think I’m gonna hike in the Carolinas one day. Talk soon! Love your sis

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