You and I, Not Two Separate Entities, But One with Dual Polarities

When Individualism and Collectivism Fail: The ‘New One’ Approach

The expression “one with dual polarities” has been on my mind for some time now.

(In this context, “two” can be replaced with “N,” where N is any real number up to infinity.)

Applying this concept to human relationships goes as follows:

You and I are not two separate entities, but “one with dual polarities.”

For example, lovers or spouses are not two separate entities but “a new one with dual polarities.” In a family with a mother, father, and children, they are not several separate entities but “a new one with multiple polarities.” In a group involving many people, they are not separate individuals but “a new one with as many polarities as there are people.”

They are two but one, one but two. Not entirely divided, but also not homogenized. They are “a new one with multiple polarities.” This applies to lovers, spouses, families, and groups.

The ultimate goal of such relationships or groups is not the happiness of the individual “me,” but the happiness of “the new one.”

Ignoring this and clinging to the illusion of complete separation, insisting on each individual’s perspective, stance, and happiness only, makes this new one suffer. This is why many lovers, couples, and families, although they want happiness, end up unhappy. They do not pursue the happiness of the “new one” that undeniably exists. They still consider only the separate polarities.

Conversely, ignoring the stance or happiness of each polarity and thinking only of the whole also causes problems. The whole is composed of each polarity, but it is treated as if there are no polarities. This leads to a “one without polarities.” The polarities undeniably continue to exist and must be considered.

Neither individualism nor collectivism provides the answer.

We need to approach from the perspective of “a new one with N polarities.”

If problems between lovers, spouses, families, or members are not being resolved, sometimes it is necessary to wisely and flexibly consider the polarities, the whole, or both perspectives simultaneously, depending on the situation and need.

Are you struggling or dissatisfied because your partner, husband, wife, child, or parent is not doing what you want? Then ask yourself if you are insisting only on the stance and perspective of your polarity or the other person’s polarity. Are you, or the other person, focusing solely on your own polarity? Let’s see what serves the “new one” that includes all polarities. Let’s focus on what the original goal is.

In many cases, we cannot let go of the “polarized stance” and keep insisting on what makes us individually satisfied and happy. But now, instead of that perspective, let’s put aside our insistence for a moment and consider, “What would make the whole one happy?” while taking into account the other polarities.

New solutions and methods, previously unseen, will begin to emerge. When the whole one becomes happy, each polarity within it, you and I, also becomes happy. Conversely, when each polarity is equally happy, the whole one becomes happy too. Let’s approach this appropriately according to the situation.