When To (And When Not To) Take Advice From Others

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5UZfFF18R70

If I tell you that drinking bleach can prevent Coronavirus, would you go for it?

With some common sense, there’s no way you are going to listen to my advice. Unfortunately, in many cases, it’s not that easy to tell whether the advice is good or not.

Heck, even whether to, or not to take advice itself is debatable.

Some said you should. Why? Because other people can see things from a different perspective. They could help you make better decisions, or point out your underlying problem so that you can work on it.

Some said you shouldn’t. Why? Since other people’s advice could be just a mere opinion. You may see the situation worse after following someone’s advice, due to that person not seeing the full picture. It’s also possible that the advisor has a bad intention — he or she wants to see you fail!

If you do a quick search on Google, you’ll see both sides of the argument appears on the first page, so should you take advice from others?

The short answer is, it depends.

The rule of thumb is, we should only take useful advice and ignore the bad ones. This begs the question: How do we tell if the advice is good or bad?

In this article, I’ll share a few tips to distinguish if the advice is worth following — this way, you are more likely to reach your goal faster for being selective on taking advice.

Remember you take the advice for the sake of yourself

Before you decide whether to listen to a piece of advice or not, you must be very certain that you take advice for the sake of yourself.

It might seem common sense to you right now, sadly in reality, we tend to follow people’s advice because of peer pressure.

A typical scenario here is, a child dreamed of being an actor, an artist or whatever professional that’s hard to make ends meet, was forced to give up their dream to live up to his/her parents’ expectation. The child changed path: went to university, got a stable job and moved up the corporate ladder, living a decent life but still feeling miserable.

We don’t like to disappoint others, especially the one we love. But, as cliche as it sounds: You live your own life. You should follow advice that aligns to your value and belief, or you believe that will fix your problem, rather than pleasing someone.

You are not obligated to follow every advice given and don’t worry if that might offend others. Everyone has the right to give whatever opinion they want, but you also have the right to decide whether to listen or not.

I still remember a person said I was stubborn for not listening, but I really wasn’t! It’s just we have different visions.

Don’t rush

When you receive a piece of advice from somebody, always remember this: you can decide to accept or decline, the time to execute, and how dedicated you should be.

Make sure you slow down your pace when you are about to make a big decision. Get your thinking caps on and ask yourself numerous questions. Such as:

• What are the pros and cons of the advice?
• Are there other options?
• Is it the best timing for you to follow the advice? Or should you wait?
• Is the advice out-of-dated? For example, some parents believe grades are everything. It might be true at their time but not quite the case nowadays.
• What are the consequences if you follow? And what if you don’t? Will you be happy with the result?
• Is this reversible? Can you back off quickly if it didn’t go the way you want?
• Do you need to sacrifice anything?

Try to convince yourself first by asking these questions. If you are unhappy with most of the answers, then the advice is not suitable for you and you can safely ignore it.

Who gave you the advice?

Apart from the advice itself, the person who gives the advice is also a consideration factor.

Don’t forget you are the one who takes the advice! So it’s ok to doubt, and don’t worry about hurting the advisor’s feelings if you genuinely disagree.

As usual, ask yourself a few questions to tell if the advisor’s opinion is worth following.

• Are they the authority in that field? Do they have any testimonials? I would be more inclined to believe the professionals than my mum in certain aspects.
• Has the advisor achieved success by following his/her own advice?
• Do they have your best interests at heart?
• Do you both share similar values? It’s hard to follow if you and the advisor see things differently.
• If you have listened to their advice before, are they helpful? If there’s a good history than I’ll have more respect for their new advice.

Listen to your gut

You can still be unsure even you’ve analyzed the advice and the advisor thoroughly. It could also happen when you ask too many people for their opinion (or even asking for advice if you should be taking someone’s advice).

“Which job offer should you take? Both companies seem good to me!”

“Should I marry that person?”

“Should I buy a new house in that Area?”

When confused, just listen to your gut.

You might find it hard to trust your instinct, but you should have more confidence in yourself. Our instinct often serves us right, even if you have screwed it up, at least that was your choice. It’s a lot better than regretting not taking action.

Conclusion

Sometimes we feel lost in our lives, and we will be inclined to take advice from others. Sorting advice into the “good” and “bad” piles is an art, and this can take a lifetime to master.

Remember you are taking advice for the sake of yourself, so don’t worry about disappointing others. Calm down and don’t execute immediately, ask questions and analyze if that advice makes sense to you. Also, check the advice giver’s credibility.

And lastly, trust your instinct. Only follow the advice if it resonates with you.

When’s the last time you take advice from others and you regret your decision? Share your story here!

I’m Keith So, enjoy writing and hope to inspire others. See more of my articles at https://becomeabetterself.com or sign up my newsletter for my Complete Guide to Build Super Self Confidence.