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THE BUSINESS OF WINNING

One Bad Dog Doesn’t Mean They’ll All Bite: Rewriting Your Stories

How one traumatic experience shapes everything — and how to break free from it

Yesterday, I was talking with a friend who’s a psychologist. She explained Relational Frame Theory to me. It makes a lot of sense. I hadn’t realized that this is how I learned six languages and so many other things. Me, you, all of us — we all learn this way.

But here’s what really got me: She explained how this theory, which we see in our daily lives through positive actions, is also present in negative ones.

The theory says these relationships are founded in our capacity for identifying and creating relational links between stimuli — and how we respond in life to the things that happen to us.

The Dog Example

Let’s say that as a kid, a dog bit you.

You’re traumatized. Now you’re afraid of all dogs.

But maybe not all dogs are aggressive.

Until you learn to put your fear of dogs into perspective, you’ll keep crossing to the other side of the street every time you see one, thinking they’re all going to bite you.

I’m not a psychologist, I am not giving therapy or lectures. I really found that the principle makes sense.

So How Do You Get Over Your Fear of Dogs?

1) Understand that not all dogs are the same and that your experience isn’t representative of all of them.

2) Through gradual exposure to different dogs, you can start to see them as adorable, friendly, or playful.

3) Ask yourself: “Is it fair to generalize all dogs based on one single experience?” This can be useful for evaluating your beliefs.

4) Start interacting with dogs known to be friendly and well-trained. This can counteract the installed belief.

5) Evaluate how your feelings toward dogs have changed through these experiences and exercises.

In the end: You tell yourself new positive stories about dogs instead of focusing on the negative one.

My Take

This blew my mind.

We do this with everything, don’t we?

One bad breakup, and suddenly all relationships are dangerous. One failed pitch, and now all investors are going to reject you. One toxic workplace, and now every job is going to drain you.

We take one experience and turn it into a universal truth.

And then we live our entire lives crossing to the other side of the street, avoiding dogs that might actually be friendly.

Here’s the thing: Your brain is just trying to protect you. It learned that dogs bite, so it’s keeping you safe. But safe isn’t always free. Safe can become a prison.

What if we applied this dog principle to everything else?

That business idea you’re afraid to launch because you failed once before?

That person you’re afraid to trust because someone else hurt you?

That risk you won’t take because it didn’t work out last time?

What if — just like with the dogs — you:

• Acknowledged that not all situations are the same
• Gradually exposed yourself to new experiences
• Questioned whether your generalization is fair
• Started small with low-risk interactions
• Evaluated how your feelings changed over time

What if you could rewrite the story?

Try it. Rewrite your stories. It works miracles.

Not all dogs bite. And the ones that do? They’re not all waiting for you on every street corner.

Sometimes the bravest thing you can do is stop crossing the street.

Thanks for reading my story!

➮**Follow my three topics. One voice**. I write daily about Global Citizenship, The Business of Winning, and Navigating Midlife — each organized in its own Medium collection. Every Tuesday and Thursday, I write in Spanish. My worldview? Built from eight countries, thousands of conversations, and a simple belief: understanding people as they are, not as we imagine them.

➮Author bio: I live across cultures, speak six languages, and do my best to build bridges. I’m often misunderstood — but I’ve learned to own my unconventional path.

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