“They are still your Parents” — Family Obligations/ Traditions

Throughout my time, I always questioned at some point in my childhood and teenager years, why should I ever stay or accept a parent and have a relationship that is one-sided. A type of relationship, where they can treat me so badly and still be reminded “they are still my parents”.

My parents, whether step or not, always say “ they are still your mother”, they worked hard “to bring you to the world by giving birth”, etc.

I always kept quiet and never went against them in this specific moment . But, my brain always has an internal reminder to remind myself that I’m treating myself badly for just another person in my life who doesn’t see me. Who, doesn’t really love me. Who treats me so badly.

That, because exactly they did make an effort at some point in my life, I still have obligations to give them attention, help, respect, etc. despite the bad treatment.

It always boggled me, but as I grew, I remained firm in my beliefs. I always ignore them at times they kept pushing me to go visit this person or so, because my current parents will be said to be thinking badly or bad mouthed by others when I choose not to. I never explain further as always.

I never want to be a person who keeps letting people walk all over me again. I don’t want to be with someone who has shown me many times, I cannot be a child in their eyes and still treat them with the title of a parent for something they failed. I cannot keep relationships where I find to be unhealthy, harmful, etc.

I never want family obligations, traditions, and so to rule over what I feel, choose, believe in, and treatment I should receive. I never want to blame myself for the choices I made for falling under the pressure. I also question for those parents, have you ever thought of me and ways it affects and how it may be for me? How is this relationship and mindset just harmful and unhealthy?